Warriors Wiki talk:Books

Bramblestar's Storm/Chapter 3 ~ Silver Nomination
Looks like it has already been archived, but Minnow asked me to take over on this. Credits to her and all the people who worked on it before. 16:23 Sun Dec 18


 * Could you cut down on the redundancy of 'to' throughout the summary? Namely in the first and third paragraphs, though, there's a few spots in the second paragraph too.
 * "While going to confront Blackstar about the trespassing, they pass through the ThunderClan land that had been gained in the battle where Russetfur died. The patrol then crosses the border and goes into ShadowClan territory, where there is evident damage from fighting. Cinderheart wonders if the forest will ever recover from the Great Battle." Could you clarify that Cinderheart is thinking about the damage from the Great Battle? When I read through, it seemed like she was thinking about damage from the Russetfur battle, not the DF one.

Hollyleaf's Story/Chapter 5 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? Song  heart  23:02, December 19, 2016 (UTC)


 * She wonders why the cub hadn't left and wonders if the dog was still waiting for it. 'wonders' is a bit redundant
 * She also knows what it was like to be lost and frightened in the darkness. She thinks she should go find it, but her companion is surprised, as it was a fox. She counters him by saying it was a baby and asks if he would leave a kit here.  She is redundant
 * She is also redundant through the second paragraph, too.
 * Could you go through and get rid of some past-tense things? I think they're in most parts of the summary, or from what I can see.

Updated Song   heart  21:17, December 20, 2016 (UTC)
 * I think for the quote, the 'she' isn't necessary, only the '[Hollyleaf]' (in brackets of course) I might be wrong though so you might not want to take my word for it.
 * In the 1st paragraph, "The tom replies somberly he would." I think it would sound better if you had the word 'somberly' between 'tom' and 'replies'. (so, "The tom somberly replies he would.")
 * "After leaving the river-cave, Hollyleaf becomes disoriented after the fox cub's cries echo around her." (2nd paragraph) 'after' is redundant.
 * She licks the fox's ear and is reminded of Squirrelflight doing the same for her. The she-cat misses her mother with a physical pain. " Did it say 'her mother' in the book? If it didn't, I think it would be better to say 'her foster mother' because Squirrelflight wasn't her actual mother.
 * 'she' is redundant in the 2nd-to-last paragraph.
 * I'm not sure if I would call Fallen Leaves a major character, I think he was pretty minor in this chapter. Your call though. 22:52 Wed Dec 21

Fixed Starling   spots  14:20, December 24, 2016 (UTC)

Hawkwing's Journey/Prologue ~ Silver Nomination
In the first paragraph, there is a period mistakenly placed.

For a sentence in the second to last paragraph, I would suggest removing the italicized word: He comments only way they can solve their problems is by joining with the other Clans. Song  heart  23:20, December 19, 2016 (UTC)

Updated Didn't remove the second one, but I tweaked the sentence structure of it instead.
 * "The pale gray cat states that Firestar restored the Clan, Brackenheart sadly remarks that the ThunderClan leader is dead, and cannot help them from a far away StarClan." I think there should be either a 'and' or a 'but' between 'Clan' and 'Brackenheart'.
 * " Brackenheart seconds the pale gray tom, protesting that he was the last medicine cat before rats drove them out. The medicine cat meows that after all SkyClan has faced" 'medicine cat' is redundant
 * Maybe link 'Firestar's kin' to Firestar's family tree? Idk only if you want to. 22:42 Wed Dec 21

Updated didn't opt to link to Firestar's family tree... Dunno, just didn't seem to fit with the context imo

CBV?

Ravenpaw's Farewell ~ Silver Nomination
Includes allegiances and gallery. Took bits from a PW article I wrote, because as was said in discussion, it'd be pointless to re-write the same stuff twice.

CBV?

Long Shadows/Chapter 20 ~ Silver Nomination
CBV?

Hawkwing's Journey/Chapter 2 ~ Silver Nomination
is it bad that i write chapters i liked reading... :3