Warriors Wiki talk:Books

Tallstar's Revenge/Chapter 1 ~ Silver Nomination
Credit to all that helped on this chapter. 16:29, December 28, 2016 (UTC)

I would highly suggest crediting who wrote this, because I can see by the history that it was not you. '''Updated. ''' 03:38, December 30, 2016 (UTC)
 * On the very first sentence of the summary, could perhaps take out a comma somewhere? It's really broken up for such a short sentence.
 * He assures his mother that he will be okay, but glances back at the nursery, where Brackenwing soothes Palebird, reminding her that Barkkit and Shrewkit will keep an eye on him. - he is redundant, this is also a run-on
 * Barkkit paws at Tallkit's tail, but Tallkit flicks it away after his friend comments that he looks like he is turning to ice - Tallkit is redundant
 * Purring with amusement, Tallkit thinks about that his white markings would make it easier for him to hide in the snow. - I think there's extra words in this sentence. It'd flow much better if 'about' and 'would' are removed.
 * Blinking up at the high slab of granite, having been told by Barkkit that Heatherstar stood on it to address the Clan, Tallkit identifies the stone and crater just below as the Meeting Hollow. - is a bit of a run-on, with the way it's worded
 * The majority of the third paragraph is written in past-tense, and summaries have to be in present-tense.
 * As he looks out across the camp at the heather coated in frost, Tallkit wonders what the moor looked like in deep snow.  - 'looked' is in past-tense
 * Could you expand the 7th paragraph a tad, just to show a but more insight on what's happening? It seems very brief.
 * Maybe go through the rest of the summary to check for redundancy, missing links, past-tense, and odd wording, as the summary kinda doesn't make sense in some spots. :)


 * 'Mother' is redundant in the first paragraph
 * Tallkit is pretty redundant through most of the summary

January FA
Yay 2017 is finally here! How about Saving the Kits? Since we haven't done a adventure game thing since... 2014 I think.