User:Snowy

Title: You Can Call Me Perfect Author: Snowy ISBN Number: 2513420818565 Cover Artist: Margaret Morgan Publication Date: June 25, 1776 (1777 in leap years)

Beginning
The story starts with the birth of a first child, a girl, to Mayor Prinny Kalorivich of Marrickston in Kaelstrov, a fictional country in a fictional world in a fiction book called You Can Call Me Perfect. The child is named Snowy because of her odd, but very beautiful and smart, white hair and skin and bright blue eyes. Snowy Kalorivitch grows up, shunned by her parents and class mates, until one day when she's thirteen and she finds out she has special powers. These special powers allow her to do anything she wants, and everybody instantly loves her.

Middle
Snowy starts having dreams, in which a hot pink unicorn named Doug tells her to travel to Jennings, the capitol of Kaelstrov. She does, and there she finds a dragon who she instantly becomes rider of. She names the dragon Perfect because that's what he is. She and Perfect have many odd adventures in Jennings, including but not limited to abolishing slavery forever, overthrowing the current king and becomming queen herself, finding her long-lost twin brother, finding tru lurve, and, last but not least, pwning all the baddies.

End
However, Snowy Kalorivich is not content. She has not found Doug in Jennings! Doug begins to see her in her dreams again, and this time he tells her to go to another large country in Kaelstrov, called Menobirrk. She goes, where the ultimate evil awaits. Snowy is able to kill the ultimate evil with her special powers, but Perfect is killed in the meantime. Snowy mourns for several seconds and cries a single tear. Then she gets the guy she's always dreamed of (not Doug). She returns to Marrickston, thinking she'll be welcomed as a hero. However, she is immediately arrested and burned at the stake as a witch. The Marrickstonners eat her. She is very crunchy.

Critical Reviews
You Can Call Me Perfect is widely said to be one of the worst books published in the Snowyverse, beating even Polydactyl: The Tail of Amberclaw, the Brave, Wise, and Beautiful ThunderClan Warrior who Slayed the Kraken. It uses excess modifiers, ignores the basic rules of the English language, and is ridled with speling mistaks. The plot is horrible, and though it is claimed to be the autobiography of Snowy, the ultimate ruler of the Snowyverse, it must be noted that none of the places, people, or events that are in the book, with the exception of Snowy herself, ever actually happened. It has been proven numerous numerous times that Marrickston never existed, Perfect never was, or the abolishment of slavery from Jennings never happened. And Doug never visited anybody in their dreams. Ever. Seriously. Stop looking at us like that.