User:Mousetalon/Essays/Power and Respect

“He is most powerful who has power over himself”

- Seneca

For generations, power has been the main focus of mankind. Napoleon, Ceaser, Adolf Hitler, just to name a few. For many users on this Wikia, their main focus has now been shifted from making the Wiki better to becoming a Senior Warrior in PCA, outdoing another user, making "impressive" edits. The entire site's atmosphere has, for me, become more competetive than communative. Users are constantly bickering over small matters, such as who gets to make a charart, or whether SpottedxFire is better than FirexCinder. What happened to the sense that we're a team of friends working to make this Wiki a useful site with information for any Warriors fan on the internet? In this short essay, i will explain what power and respect means to me, and how I feel it should be attained, by telling my own story.

Respect is a highly coveted feeling on this Wiki. Every user wants it, from the newest contributer to the most experienced Sysop. I myself know that wanted to be a Senior Warrior in PCA since I joined. As many have guessed, when Nightfall, one of my friends, was nominated by myself, I thought about how I would feel if someone nominated. I am an outcast outside of this Wiki, branded a nerd and a freak. During the drama that followed, I started to comment more and more on images, hoping that I would become a Senior Warrior, to be imporrtant. I made a tutorial, I went to every new user I could see and made them a charart, I practiced on cats, reserved left and right. I wasn't even enjoying myself anymore, except for the chatting eith my friends. I spent hours on the computer, neglecting Spanish homework and spending time with my family. When I got on that computer, I was like a zombie, focused on nothing else. My mom talked to me several times about it, but I would ignore her, saying to myself that I would become a Senior Warrior any day, that someone would nominate me. My edits became solely for PCA, I abandoned Project Characters, read my books less, and stopped studying. I could feel myself competing with other artists, disliking them because they were better than me, which was my worst fear. When Lent came, I realized that I had to stop. Enough was enough. I had to get my priorities straight. When I took my break from the Wikia, I realized just what I had become. I was not worth the slightest ounce of respect, or status. I knew that, upon returning, I couldn't allow myself to be the obsessed zombie I had been.

By the time I returned, I had lost all interest in becoming high ranking. I knew that in order to gain repect, I had to earn it. And when I return, I see the Wiki the same as when I left it. Users getting into fights and insulting each other, attacks, and more Senior Warrior nominations. I shook my head, seeing that same hidden spark, telling you that in order to gain respect, power was needed. I have a teacher who can see through everyone. She once told a girl that by showing off, deliberately trying to assert herself over everyone, she wasn't making herself look better, but worse. That was in January. Then, I had held my head high, telling myself I was above that girl. During my break, I had time to think, and I realized I was far below her. I have changed, believe me, and here are my basic opinions.

1.) Trying to look good makes you look worse

2.) Don't get involved in every little battle, some fights aren't worth fighting

3.) Actions are only as good as the motives behind them

I'm being totally honest with you guys. I hope this doesn't make your opinion about me any worse, but why like me if you don't know the real me? I hope my own story can keep you from making my mistakes, and hopefully from losing respect from yourself. My opinions on respect have changed over Lent, and I hope that this will help any user who may read it.