Warriors Wiki talk:Books/Discussion Archive 34

Pinestar's Choice/Chapter 5 ~ Silver Nomination

 * In the main quote, maybe link 'receive his nine lives' to Leadership Ceremony?
 * "He asks if they should go now, and is concerned that he won't be as great a leader as Doestar was. The mottled gray tom tells him that he'll do great as leader." 'leader' sounds a little redundant, maybe just get rid of the 'as leader' in the 2nd sentence so that it just reads "...he'll do great."?
 * " He introduces himself as Thunderstar, and tells Pineheart that leaders face difficult decisions, and that the to-be leader will have to face the most difficult decision." 'difficult decision' sounds redundant
 * "Pinestar wakes up with his nine lives, and tells Goosefeather he received his nine lives." 'nine lives' sounds redundant
 * In the paragraph, "Pinestar is about to go on a patrol, when a voice teases him that he doesn't have to patrol now that he's leader..." Could you add a transition like 'later' or something to the beginning of the paragraph so it isn't a sudden tranisition from the previous paragraph, where he was back at the Moonstone?
 * "The tom trusts Mumblefoot to organize patrols and is well liked by the Clan. He knows he can join a patrol, but he doesn't want the Clan to think he's interfering or trying to take on too many responsibilities." In the second paragrpah, I'm confused on who the 'he' is.
 * "The tom responds that it's weird, then asks Pinestar how come he's talking to the kittypet. He asks if he was supposed to get his ears clawed off. The cats say the ThunderClan cat does that." in the 2nd and 3rd sentence, the 'he's and the 'cats' are confusing
 * "Jake purrs that it's a cool name, and he says his mother is Crystal, and his littermates are Ferris and Whiskers. The tom doesn't know where they went." It's a little confusing on who 'the tom' is. Same in this sentence: "Jake says he'll tell his friends that wild cats aren't as fierce as they think, but the red tom warns him that some are, and that they should keep to their territory. The tom says they'll see about that, and vanishes over the fence." 23:09 Thu Aug 24

fixed

"Jake, although unnamed, asks if he was supposed to get his ears clawed off. The other kittypets say the ThunderClan cat does that. Pinestar can't help but feel proud of his Clan's reputation." Did the kittypets say that Pinestar claws the kittypets' ears off, or all the ThunderClan cats claw their ears? Because 'the ThunderClan cat' is singular but from how it says "Pinestar can't help but feel proud of his Clan's reputation." it sounds as if Jake is talking about the ThunderClan cats plural. 00:57 Wed Aug 30

'''fixed? hopefully?'''

Yep, it's better now. Vote's up! 23:28 Sat Sep 2

The Lost Warrior -> Graystripe's Adventure
Just as a head's up, guys, to keep with the correct arc names, I've changed the categories we're using for the Graystripe books.

The full-color version released earlier this month has the arc labeled as Graystripe's Adventure. To go with that, I've moved everything that was in that category to the new category. This also clears up confusion I've seen over the years, since The Lost Warrior is also the first book in the set. I'm going to leave the file names as they are, since I'm not 100% sure how those templates work with file names lmao.

If I broke something or if something else needs renamed/fixed/ect, go ahead and let me know. 