Warriors Wiki talk:Books

Bramblestar's Storm/Chapter 3 ~ Silver Nomination
Alright, I have nothing to do and please tell me no one's nominating this already. My chemistry tests are over, and I need something to rant about. 15:32, November 27, 2016 (UTC)


 * Add a quote
 * Remove the important events section, imo, as per this from awhile back.
 * Patrol is redundant in 1st paragraph
 * Break up the first sentence of the summary; it's a bit of a run-on
 * Towards the end of the first paragraph, Bramblestar and Brackenfur are redundant some
 * Bramblestar is also redundant in other paragraphs as well
 * Littlecloud is redundant in the last paragraph
 * "says" is redundant too; perhaps swap a few with "meows" or something
 * Link border and patrol

Updated 16:05, November 28, 2016 (UTC)

Maybe link 'Twoleg nest' to ThunderClan, since there is a section on it there? If not, I think you should link it to Twoleg Nest. 19:46 Mon Nov 28

Updated 16:26, November 29, 2016 (UTC)

Last thing - Blackstar is pretty redundant in the second paragraph, and "ShadowClan" is too.

Updated 17:33, November 30, 2016 (UTC)


 * For the first paragraph, I am confused by this sentence. What does Squirrelflight suggest? Squirrelflight suggests to double them on the ShadowClan border, and to hunt there more regularly as well. Trespass is also misspelled. Can you put more in about Cinderheart thinking about the Great Battle as it does seem a bit abrupt.


 * For a sentence in the second paragraph: Blackstar then orders Tawnypelt to escort patrol back. there should be the word "the" between escort and patrol.


 * In the third paragraph, I'm not sure if what you mean by "brown tom" is Bramblestar or Littlecloud. Are you able to clarify who is speaking?  Song   heart  22:45, December 1, 2016 (UTC)

Updated I'm confused about the abrupt of Cinderheart thinking about the battle - could you possibly expand on that or give me suggestions what to add to it, since I don't know what you want me to add to that part. 14:06, December 2, 2016 (UTC)

"They cross across the new ThunderClan land that had been gained in the battle where Russetfur died. Cinderheart wonders if the forest will ever recover from the Great Battle." I think what I meant to say here was the sentence seems to imply that Russetfur died in the Great Battle, as it does say the land that ThunderClan gained a while back is "new". Song  heart  21:13, December 4, 2016 (UTC)

Still working? 00:23 Mon Dec 12

January FA
How about Saving the Kits? I honestly can't remember when the last time we did a adventure game thing (even though they have been featured before) And it'd be a good mix-up after doing so many book articles recently. If not, though, we always have CJ.

Hmm, I kinda think it would be nice to do CJ since all of the CJ subpages are now written too. But StK is still fine too. 02:26 Wed Dec 7

I guess CJ would be pretty nice to show - it's like showing off all the hard work users worked on those subpages... how long has it been since we did novellas? I think we mostly did mangas and "regular" books... No, the "how long novella" question isn't rhetorical - someone please answer that for me 02:07, December 8, 2016 (UTC)

since you asked^^ the last one we did was GC, back in May, I'm pretty sure.

I personally think we should do StK just for a little bit of variety. Song  heart  16:56, December 10, 2016 (UTC)

Okay wait which one do we wanna do? Saving the Kits or Cloudstar's Journey? I'm fine with either tbh. If we don't do one this month we'll just do the other next month. 02:26, December 12, 2016 (UTC)

Bluestar's Prophecy/Chapter 6 - Silver Nomination
01:44, December 11, 2016 (UTC)
 * Maybe link 'ThunderClan territory' in the 2nd-to-last paragraph to The_Forest_Territories or ThunderClan?
 * Also in that paragraph, he is a bit redundant, at least in this sentence: 'Featherwhisker adds that while he didn't mention WindClan specifically, he stared straight at Heatherstar" 01:15 Mon Dec 12


 * During the Gathering, she stuck so close to Moonflower that she did not take much notice of the other Clans, and when Stonepelt introduced her to a RiverClan cat, she could not even think of anything to say. Maybe break this in two - it's a bit of a run-on.
 * The next morning, Snowpaw goes out hunting with Sparrowpelt, but Bluepaw, worn out from her trip to the Gathering, is allowed to sleep later. Could you perhaps reword this to have less commas? It seems to be really broken up.

Hmm I actually disagree with the second point, I think it's fine as is ^ But idk that's just my opinion. 22:32 Mon Dec 12

Updated. Sorry it took me so long, I've been really busy. 00:23, December 17, 2016 (UTC)

Rising Storm/Chapter 21 ~ Silver Nomination

 * "Fireheart thanks Ravenpaw for taking them this far, and the tom says that they will always be friends. The black tom leaves..." 'tom' is redundant.
 * "The black tom cites that he’s as slow as all forest cats" Did you mean 'the black tom notes', or a different word? I'm not sure if cite is the correct word there. 22:58 Tue Dec 13

Updated idk in the technical sense of the word, cite would work, but I guess it kinda sounded funny in the summary so I put 'snarled' like in the book.

CBV?

Rising Storm/Chapter 22 ~ Silver Nomination

 * "The deputy announces that Cloudpaw is back, and she questions how the apprentice found his way back. " 'back' sounds redundant. 23:04 Tue Dec 13

Updated

CBV?

Rising Storm/Chapter 23 ~ Silver Nomination
CBV?

Rising Storm/Chapter 24 ~ Silver Nomination
Holy crap how do you do these so fast??? Anyways, "Fireheart orders them to go one way, using a tail signal as the lightning drowns out his voice. Every cat breaks into a run, and he carries Speckletail’s kit to safety." It's a litttttle bit confusing on who 'he' is. I understand it is Fireheart but I think it might be a bit better if you said that. Also, maybe link tail signal to Tail Signals? 22:34 Thu Dec 15

Updted Yeah lol I've been writing them in between studying for midterms I've been taking this week.

Rising Storm/Chapter 25 ~ Silver Nomination

 * "Fireheart drops Speckletail’s kit" I think that either Snowkit should be linked to 'Speckletail's kit' as a whole, or Speckletail should link to Speckletail. It doesn't make much sense to link Specketail to Snowkit.
 * I think for the quote, the speakers are in the wrong order. I would guess that Crookedstar told fireheart that Leaopardfoot was right to help them, not the other way around. 22:40 Thu Dec 15

Updated

Rising Storm/Chapter 26 ~ Silver Nomination
Maybe link 'fresh-kill pile' to Camp, of 'Fresh-kill' to prey? 22:35 Fri Dec 16

Updated

Rising Storm/Chapter 27 ~ Silver Nomination
"Graystripe returns with Crookedstar, and the leader asks why a ThunderClan warrior can’t go to check on the camp with him." Do you mean 'without' him? It sounds like that is what it is supposed to be. 22:39 Fri Dec 16

In the book, I'm pretty sure Crookedstar asks Fireheart why he can't take a ThunderClan warrior with him, and so thats why I tried to copy the wording from the book.

Ohhh I understood it as 'Crookedstar asks why a ThunderClan warrior (in this case, Fireheart) can't go check on the camp without him (Graystripe)'. Could you replace 'him' with Fireheart or a word to describe him then, to avoid confusion? 22:59 Fri Dec 16

Rising Storm/Chapter 29 ~ Silver Nomination

 * "Fireheart recalls how Bluestar refused to send the dead cats to their starry ancestors, making Whitestorm do it instead. His nephew nods, and the ginger warrior repeats to go rest." When it says 'his nephew nods', it sounds as if Cloudpaw is Whitestorm's nephew, maybe just say/describe Cloudpaw? (and possibly use 'his nephew' to describe him where it wouldn't be confusing)
 * Again, maybe link 'fresh-kill pile' to Camp#Main_Clearing, or just 'fresh-kill' to prey? 22:50 Fri Dec 16

Rising Storm/Chapter 30 ~ Silver Nomination

 * "Tallstar asks where the ThunderClan leader is, and Fireheart replies she isn’t well enough to travel yet. He questions if the she-cat was injured in the fire, but the deputy answers that Bluestar will recover. " it is a bit confusing on who 'he' is.
 * Why is Gorsepaw being a brown tabby listed as an error? I thought it was decided that he was a brown tabby and his ginger-and-white description was incorrect? 22:56 Fri Dec 16