Warriors Wiki talk:Books

Fire and Ice/Chapter 13 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? " 23:11 Wed Mar 2 "

In the third-to-last paragraph, the word 'Fireheart' sounds a bit redundant... 02:06 Fri Mar 4

Fixed " 02:48 Sat Mar 5 "

Comments before vote? 02:48, March 6, 2016 (UTC)

Warrior's Refuge/Chapter 2 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? 03:29 Thu Mar 3

In the 6th paragraph, could you tweak the first sentence? It says something like, 'though he thought' which looks a little weird to me. imo " 13:49 Thu Mar 3 "

updated 22:42 Thu Mar 3

Comments before vote? 02:49, March 6, 2016 (UTC)

Warrior's Refuge/Chapter 3 ~ Silver Nomination
Looks like I've forgotten a quote for this one, so it would be great if someone could add one for me, as I don't have the book. Comments? 03:29 Thu Mar 3

Could you fix the last paragraph? Is says 'barn' a lot of times and seems redundant. " 13:48 Thu Mar 3 "

Updated 22:40 Thu Mar 3

Comments before vote? 02:49, March 6, 2016 (UTC)

Warrior's Refuge/Chapter 4 ~ Silver Nomination
Whew, finally done with all the manga subpages I wrote. Comments? 02:11 Sat Mar 5

Could you perhaps expand the very first sentence? It might be a little hard but it's really short imo. In the 2nd and 3rd paragraph, uh... cats don't smile. At least, that's what I always thought. Could you fix that? In the 2nd section of Graystripe's PoV, 'thinks' in two sentences straight sound a little redundant to me. And, Millie in last 4 paragraphs just seems a little redundant in places. :3 " 22:06 Sat Mar 5 "

Updated I know that they don't smile, but they do in the manga so I'm going to leave it like that.

Also, I'm stupid and put the wrong title here so... oops. sorry about that. 22:14 Sat Mar 5

"Millie responds that he doesn't have to come and comfort him every time she is awake and he is not." should it be "she"? Idk getting pronouns mixed up is common for me. (1st paragraph) " 22:18 Sat Mar 5 "

Updated I just got rid of the detail because it seemed unnecessary now that I think about it. 22:25 Sat Mar 5

Dawn/Chapter 2 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? " 03:37 Sat Mar 5 "


 * I think it's unnecessary to link she-cat in the 3rd paragraph.


 * In the 3rd-to-last paragraph, it says that Leafpaw sees Brightheart's tortoiseshell fur, but she's not a tortoiseshell, so I think that should be changed. If she was mentioned to be a tortie in the book, then you can put that underneath errors.


 * In the 2nd-to-last paragraph, it just says that Cody told Cloudtail a story about Princess and a new dog, could you add a bit more detail and explain what the story was about?


 * Cody should be listed before Feathertail on the minor characters list, (Although imo Cody was a major character but that's just my opinion) since she appeared much before Feathertail did. Also, Sorreltail and Cinderpelt should be listed on the mentioned characters list.

20:39 Sat Mar 5

Fixed " <span style="">21:58 Sat Mar 5 "

Remove "ginger splashed fur." I understand it's an error but it probably shouldn't be there, so say "Leafpaw saw the fur of her Clanmate, Brightheart' or something like that. 22:01, March 5, 2016 (UTC)

What I had meant by Cody being before Feathertail on the characters lits was that I don't think that her cite is correct. It says she appeared on the 5th page when she seemed to appear right away according to the summary. Sorry for not being clear earlier. Could you check the cite to see if she might have appeared on an earlier page (I think you would say her first appearance, even if it's unnamed)? <span style="">22:05 Sat Mar 5

That's definitely the first time she appears, and that's the only mention of her.(page 22) She doesn't appear too early in the summary, imo, considering she was mentioned in the first half of the chapter. " <span style="">22:15 Sat Mar 5 "

No, she first appears on page 20: "“You’re awake at last,” whispered a voice. Leafpaw jumped and craned her neck to look over her shoulder. A heap of tabby fur stirred in the den beside hers, and she smelled the unmistakable Twoleg-tainted scent of a kittypet." This is proven to be Cody on page 22, "In the weak dawn light she could see the tabby she-cat in the den next to her more clearly." On page 24 she introduces herself, but I think it's first appearance that's supposed be cited, regardless of whether they are unnamed or not. <span style="">22:22 Sat Mar 5

/facepalms/ kay I fixed it. I thought you were talking about /Feathertail/ this whole time. " <span style="">22:26 Sat Mar 5 "

Fire and Ice/Chapter 14 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? " <span style="">13:48 Sat Mar 5 "


 * In the second paragraph, "Fireheart tells Graystripe that he doesn't understand how he could see Silverstream after the death of Whiteclaw, and that he heard what Leopardfur said." Could you briefly describe what Leopardfur said?


 * Also in 2nd paragraph: "Fireheart impatiently listens to Graystripe as he continues, he tells Fireheart that Silverstream understood that it was an accident, as the gorge was no place for a battle, and any cat could have fallen." I think it's a run-on, could you fix it?


 * There are also lots of paste-tense sections. I fixed the ones in the first two paragraphs, but not the rest, so can you make the rest all present-tense? <span style="">03:15 Sun Mar 6

Updated Think I got them all  23:04, March 6, 2016 (UTC)

Fire and Ice/Chapter 18 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? " <span style="">15:47 Sat Mar 5 "

Man Spooky I'm having a hard time catching up to all your nominations xD Anyways, this is optional, but perhaps link 'life' in the first paragraph to Leadership Ceremony? Also, in the first paragraph it says 'etc.' which I don't think should be in an actual article. Also, I don't think it's necessary for Into the Wild to be linked in the third paragraph, it's a bit illogical to be linked there imo.

Also, for the character list, Brindleface's kits should be listed. And can you change Silverstream's cite to the first time that she appeared in the chapter? (Since she was mentioned in the very beginning). Also, instead of saying 'five unnamed kits', you might want to say 'Princess' five kits' instead. Also, Oakheart, Ravenpaw, and Redtail need to be in the mentioned character list. <span style="">20:25 Sat Mar 5

Updated Thanks Maple, i feel sorta bad since I leave so many little things behind. I added Ravenpaw, but I swear Oakheart and Redtail aren't in the chapter. I reread the chapter, and did word-search on my pdf copy so... " <span style="">21:43 Sat Mar 5 "

Don't worry it's okay. I just looked, and it says 'the battle with RiverClan' in the book (no mention of the deputies), but I guess it says 'the battle where Oakheart and Redtail were killed' in the summary because it makes it a bit more clear on which battle it was. <span style="">22:01 Sat Mar 5

Join?
Can I join? I'm already working on The Darkest Hour Chapter 11. XBrownleaf (talk) 13:21, March 6, 2016 (UTC)

Oops, sorry, I'm not meant to post that here.XBrownleaf (talk)

No don't worry, this is the right place to put a join request. Don't put a join request on the archive though, because those just have already-accepted requests. <span style="">17:36 Sun Mar 6

Okay, I didn't know that. Sorry. Where should I put a join request?XBrownleaf (talk) 18:12, March 6, 2016 (UTC)

I keep reading things wrong, sorry. I'm a bit tired. And thank you!XBrownleaf (talk) 18:12, March 6, 2016 (UTC)

The Sight/Chapter 9 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? March 7, 2016 (UTC)

Actually, I wrote this a while back and was planning on nominating it once my manga nominations are all done... Could you nominate a different chapter? (Note that I plan on nominating all of the The Sight chapters I wrote) <span style="">00:49 Mon Mar 7

Sorry, I was just scrolling along the bronze list and stumbled upon it.(happen to do that a lot) Withdrawing ~  March 7, 2016 (UTC)

Rejoin?
Hi, I was a member of Project Books and I understand that since I was inactive, I was removed off the list. I won't let that happen again as I will comment on votes and page nominations, and will work on writing chapter pages.

Sure, welcome back! I assume you've read the rules. 15:30, March 7, 2016 (UTC)

The Ultimate Guide/Rock Speaks ~ Silver Nomination
Just typed this up. :P The actual section in the book was only two paragraphs so it's short  March 7, 2016 (UTC)

This might look odd, but perhaps consider linking the Clans for the quote description where it says 'non-Clan cats'? idk, it might look weird though. Totally up to you. <span style="">23:48 Mon Mar 7

Uhh,I linked it to The Ultimate Guide/Animals Outside the Clans since this is the intro for that anyway...? Idk what to do in this case. 23:50, March 7, 2016 (UTC)

The Ultimate Guide/Blackstar Speaks ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? March 7, 2016 (UTC)

In the first paragraph, "He questions what excuse other Clans make for ShadowClan's skill in battle now that all the Clans live by the lake. He says their readiness to invade other Clans territories in the forest was because of lack of prey in their own land. " The two 'he's sound redundant, perpaps replace one with 'the ShadowClan leader' or something?

In the 2nd paragraph, 'says' is used thrice and sounds very redundant. It's also redundant in the 3rd paragraph.

<span style="">23:27 Mon Mar 7

Fixed  23:31, March 7, 2016(UTC)

The Sight/Chapter 8 ~ Silver Nomination
Watch out The Sight chapters, here I come! Comments? <span style="">03:33 Wed Mar 9

In the last paragraph, it has "he" three sentences in a row and sounds a little redundant. Can you fix it?

Updated <span style="">22:29 Wed Mar 9

The Sight/Chapter 9 ~ Silver Nomination
Poor lil' Jaypaw... Comments? <span style="">23:24 Wed Mar 9

Could you fix this run-on? "He thinks that if Brightheart won’t show him the territory, he would explore it himself, and start by going toward the lake; the scents of water and wind excited him."(paragraph 5)

and

Here, it says "easy" twice, and it sounds a tad bit redundant. Your choice though. "Climbing the slope and following ridge is easy, and when he comes to the end of it, Jaypaw is prepared for the steepness of the slope. He scrabbles down and heads away from the Thunderpath, in the opposite direction of the one from yesterday. Jaypaw follows the side of the ridge through the trees, which is easy for him. "(paragraph 6)