Warriors Wiki talk:Books

Dark River/Chapter 11 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? 03:36, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

There are bits in the first paragraph that kind of don't flow with the rest of the wording. For example, ''"His trek to the beach with Jaypaw the previous night had left him exhausted, and he is irritated that his brother dragged him to the lake, when he had left Heatherpaw early to get some rest". ''I can kinda desipher what was going on, but I think it could use some rewording. Perhaps split the sentence into two? That might keep the focus a little better.

Also, this phrase, ''"and Mousepaw... teases Lionpaw, who glares back at his denmate". ''In my opinion that could work as two different sentences because the teasing of Lionpaw and the glaring are two seperate actions. Other than that, very nicely written ^^ 18:33 Sat Jan 16

Updated Thank you :) Is this better? 23:48, January 17, 2016 (UTC)

Sorry if I sound impatient, but could I have a CBV on this? It's been well over a week since my last comment... (Same goes for DR/13 and ATF/3) 01:54 Wed Jan 27

Both Splook and I have been dealing with very personal problems, please don't rush us. Life has been hard. Anyways comments before vote? 04:23, January 30, 2016 (UTC)

Dark River/Chapter 12 - Silver Nomination
Wow, that took a while... it's hard typing a lot of text on an iPad. Comments? 00:36, January 17, 2016 (UTC)

You... you typed all of that on an iPad? :o Wow, I have so much respect and sympathy towards you in just hearing that. Anyways, so I fixed a few things, but I have some suggestions suggestions:

1. In the second paragraph, I think that the tense switches back and forth from past to present (such as "...RiverClan affected all the Clans, especially if RiverClan was displaced from their home") You might want to just re-read the second paragraph and fix it if it's an error, although it might just be me not knowing my grammar :P

2. In the second paragraph, maybe link battle to Battles, and Clan to General Clan Information? Also, in the sixth paragraph, you linked the the lake as "the lake" when I think that in all other articles the "the" for lake isn't linked, only the "lake" part is linked. (so that it's "the lake".)

3. In the third-to-last paragraph, (7th down) paragraph, it reads, "Hollypaw explains desperately..." I think it would sound better if you switched the 'explained' and the 'desperately' so that it reads, "Hollypaw desperately explained..." Lastly at the final paragraph, you originally said stream, but you once mentioned it as river (One of the kits crosses the river to the island), so idk if you would want to change that to stream too, but that's really up to you. If you keep it as lake though, you'd probably want to link it to the River Alba.

4. Could you add a quote? :3

Okay, wow that was a lot, my apologizes if that was overwhelming. 01:54 Wed Jan 20

Updated. No, it's fine, thanks for all the suggestions, Maple. I fixed all the issues (I think). Tell me if I missed anything. 21:22, January 23, 2016 (UTC)

Dark River/Chapter 13 ~ Silver Nomination
Ah, that's my last DR chapter to nominate :3 Comments? 02:49, January 19, 2016 (UTC)

After the Flood/Part 3 ~ Silver Nomination
That was actually pretty easy. I don't know if there's anything that I can link the word buzzard to, but if there is, I would appreciate if someone told me so I can add it in. Comments? 02:51, January 19, 2016 (UTC)

SkyClan's Destiny/Chapter 21 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? 00:14 Tue Jan 26

SkyClan's Destiny/Chapter 23 ~ Silver Nomination
Comments? 00:14 Tue Jan 26

SkyClan's Destiny/Chapter 24 ~ Silver Nomination
Wow this page sure is getting long. Comments? 03:01 Thu Jan 28