Talk: Books/Discussion Archive 31

The Apprentice's Quest/Chapter 6 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? Songheart 20:29, August 23, 2016 (UTC)

Is there a quote you can add?
'He' sounds slightly redundant at the end of the last paragraph. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:32, 8/23/2016

Added quote and fixed paragraph. Songheart 20:44, August 23, 2016 (UTC)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the chapter is from pages 77-89 and the quote is from page 70. Was that a typo or is the quote not from the right chapter? Also put quote marks around the quote —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:48, 8/23/2016

Fixed. Songheart 01:47, August 25, 2016 (UTC)

Would Leafpool be classified as a major character or can we bump her down to minor? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 06:05, August 25, 2016 (UTC)

I personally think Leafpool should stay a major character as she took Alderpaw to Twolegplace and introduced him to StarClan. Songheart 01:12, August 27, 2016 (UTC)

I think you're right. Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 01:29, August 27, 2016 (UTC)

I'm really sorry to interrupt your CBV but:

Can you link 'the prophecy' in the 2nd paragraph to Prophecies and Omens instead, since that is the specific prophecy Needlepaw is talking about?
Can you link territory in the second paragraph to The lake territories#ThunderClan or to ThunderClan#In_The_Lake_Territories
Can you add a transition for the 3rd paragraph? It suddenly goes from Alderpaw being in ShadowClan to him going to the Moonpool.
In the last paragraph, "Alderpaw realizes this must be Firestar and thinks he seemed familiar and wonders if this was the same cat he saw in his weird dream before." Could you split this into 2 sentences? Right now it's a bit too long imo.
Also in the last paragraph, "The young cat sees a group of cats in a gorge, such as a mottled brown-and-cream she-cat, a ginger tom, and a black-and-white she-cat partaking in a warrior ceremony." I think it would be more fitting if 'such as' would be replaced with 'including', since that word just seems like it would make more sense for the context. That might just be me though, so if you disagree then you don't have to. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 01:09 Sat Sep 3

Edited Songheart 20:24, September 3, 2016 (UTC)

Re-CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 20:27 Sat Sep 3

Vote's up! 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 18:57 Mon Sep 5

A Dangerous Path/Chapter 5 - Silver Nomination[]

—Ivy ☆ 01:20, August 27, 2016 (UTC)

In the 3rd paragraph, maybe link 'carrionplace disease' or just 'disease' as Diseases and Injuries, since that is the specific disease that the SC cats had?
In the 4th pagraph, "Runningnose explains that the reason why he believes this is beyond the omen mentioned by Tigerstar at the Gathering. It is because ShadowClan's previous leader, Nightstar, had not been accepted by StarClan and had not received his nine lives, which is why he died so quickly from the rat sickness." I think there is a grammar error in the first sentnce, since it says "Runningnose explains that the reason why..." but it explains why in the next sentence.
In the last paragraph, maybe link 'territory' as The Forest Territories instead, since it is talking about specifically windclan's territory? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 19:19 Wed Aug 31

Updated. —Ivy ☆ 20:25, August 31, 2016 (UTC)

Comments before vote? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 00:53 Sat Sep 3

Vote's up! 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 18:57 Mon Sep 5

Outcast/Chapter 24 ~ Silver Nomination[]

🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 16:55 Tue Aug 30

Comments before vote? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 20:40 Sat Sep 3

Vote's up. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 01:04 Wed Sep 7

Moonrise/Epilogue ~ Silver Nomination[]

🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 19:49 Wed Aug 31

CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 17:12 Sun Sep 4

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:58, 9/07/2016

Join[]

I'd like to join the project if that's okay?

~Patch feather~ 23:15, September 7, 2016 (UTC)

Sure! I'll add you in, and please make sure to review the guidelines. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:18, 9/07/2016

Outcast/Chapter 20 ~ Silver Nomination[]

🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 19:09 Sat Aug 27

Check quote for grammar and merge the last sentence in the first paragraph. In the sixth paragraph, add an "s" onto the last word. For the last paragraph, expand a little more for the last sentence. Songheart 17:58, September 2, 2016 (UTC)

Updated For the sixth paragraph, that was how it was in the book so I didn't change it. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 00:52 Sat Sep 3

CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 18:57 Mon Sep 5

Vote's up. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:07 Thu Sep 8

Midnight (book)/Chapter 3 ~ Silver Nomination[]

--Foxey ^{Whispers and enchantments} 18:44, September 1, 2016 (UTC)

Add a quote
Remove stub tag
Maybe link 'Mouse bile' in the first paragraph and capitalize "Gathering" in the last paragraph
'Leafpaw' is redundant in the 2nd and third paragraph -- perhaps replace a few with "the tabby apprentice" or something similar.
In paragraphs 4,5, and 6, Leopardstar sounds redundant in spots so maybe tweak that. Blackstar is a bit redundant too.
In paragraph 5, greenleaf is "Green-leaf", perhaps fix this?
In the second to last paragraph, Leafpaw sounds redundant again.
Perhaps combine the last two sentences of the 8th paragraph, as they are very short and choppy on their own. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:53, 9/01/2016

Improved --Foxey ^{Whispers and enchantments} 19:55, September 2, 2016 (UTC)

In the 1st paragraph, "Leafpaw remarks that Squirrelpaw is upset and Cinderpelt says she deserves to be. She wonders where ThunderClan would be if apprentices could just go off where they pleased without telling others." The 'she's are redundant and a bit confusing.
"Leafpaw [...] remembers Squirrelpaw raging on how unfair the punishment is." I think it would be 'how unfair the punishemnt was'?
Can you replace one of the 'remembers' in the first paragraph with a synonym, such as recall?
In the 3rd paragraph, "Feathertail remarks she knows Cinderpelt well as she treated her once. She adds that Leafpaw must be proud to be her apprentice. " The 'her's and 'she' are a bit confusing, could you use descriptions instead?
In the 5th paragraph, could you link 'territory' (from 'WindClan teritory') to WindClan#In_The_Forest_Territories?
Also in that paragraph, 'windClan territory' sounds redundant
In the 6th paragraph, 'saying' sounds a bit redundant ("Tallstar refuses, saying" and "Leopardstar refuses, saying"
In the 8th paragraph, "The Clans murmur in approval while few RiverClan warriors growl in disapproval" Did you mean 'while a few RiverClan...'?
"Graystripe looks questioningly at Mistyfoot and she defends them saying they are good warriors. Leopardstar meows that they are strong, skilled warriors " 'warriors' sounds a bit redundant, but I'm not sure how to fix that so you don't need to if you can't think of how.
In the 2nd-to-last paragraph, "she would be the last warrior to criticize a warrior" 'warrior' sounds redundant. Maybe replace 'last warrior' with 'last cat' or something?
Maybe link 'an omen' to Prophecies and Omens, since that is the omen Mudfur was talking about? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 20:08 Sat Sep 3

Improved--Foxey ^{Whispers and enchantments} 22:46, September 3, 2016 (UTC)

In the third paragraph, Feathertail sounds redundant most of the way through
Also in the same paragraph, 'medicine cat apprentice' sound redundant toward the middle of it
In the 5th paragraph, Tallstar sounds redundant, so perhaps exchange some for 'the black-and-white tom' or 'the WindClan leader' etc.
Tallstar then says that all water is gone from WindClan's territory. Russetfur protests that the river borders WindClan's area. The word 'area' sounds a bit out of place, and could this maybe be switched to instead read "WindClan's land"?
In the 5th paragraph, 'ShadowClan is redundant in the first two sentences.
In the 6th paragraph, Feathertail is redundant in the last two sentences
Also in this paragraph, 'RiverClan' sounds a tiny bit redundant so maybe try to tweak that
And also the link to the moth's wing vision that is in the summary isn't a bracketed link "[[]]" but is linking to the actual url if you know what I mean. Could you fix this as well? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:58, 9/03/2016

Improved--Foxey ^{Whispers and enchantments} 00:23, September 4, 2016 (UTC)

Comments before vote? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 01:04 Wed Sep 7

Vote's up! 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:12 Fri Sep 9

Outcast/Chapter 12 ~ Silver Nomination[]

I liked Breezepaw. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 19:09 Sun Sep 4

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:50, 9/07/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:51, 9/10/2016

Outcast/Chapter 6 ~ Silver Nomination[]

🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:24 Sat Sep 3

Berrynose meows to Poppypaw that she must be quicker, causing Lionpaw to be annoyed at Berrynose's bossiness. Berrynose is slightly redundant
In the 2nd paragraph Lionpaw is a bit redundant
Berrynose interrupts by telling Lionpaw that he got the move wrong, so Lionpaw furiously faces the former and taunts how he had a skirmish with ShadowClan. Berrynose springs off the rock, hostile, and spits to not talk to a warrior like that, but Lionpaw retorts at him to stop being such a know-it-all. bit redundant of Lionapaw and Berrynose
A calm voice tells Lionpaw to take it easy, and Lionpaw turns to see Stormfur sunning himself in a path of sunlight. redundant here too
In he first two sentences of paragraph 5, Stormfur is a but redundant but this one might be a tad nitpicky of me
Lionpaw voices his wishes to have been there, and Stormfur agrees that he enjoyed it. Lionpaw adds that the former RiverClan tom became good friends with Brambleclaw, but Stormfur admits that he used to be jealous of Brambleclaw because the gray tom liked Squirrelflight. However, he notes that it was obvious that she liked Brambleclaw best, yet Lionpaw is astonished that the gray warrior liked Squirrelflight. some more
Stormfur' licks his chest fur and says that cats must carry on. Lionpaw says he hopes that his asking wasn't minded, and Stormfur notes that it wasn't, offering to talk with Lionpaw and help him at any time. Lionpaw thanks the gray tom, and notes that it is easier talking to him than a ThunderClan cat, though he breaks off in embarrassment and apologizes. idk a bit of redundancy
Stormfur thinks and takes time before answering that he is a RiverClan cat at heart, as he grew up there, but now he feels loyal to ThunderClan for welcoming him. Lionpaw asks if he will stay forever, but Stormfur is unsure. The apprentice presses why they don't return to the mountains, but a somber look creeps into Stormfur's eyes and he mews that it isn't that easy. Lionpaw suggests a visit, but Stormfur briskly disagrees that it is far, and he gets to his paws, suggesting they get back to camp.
Sorry for putting a lot, but leaving examples seems easier. I'd read through the summary once for for a good lookover, because there's a bit more that could be tweaked to flow. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:38, 9/03/2016

Updated 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 18:17 Sun Sep 4

CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 02:59 Thu Sep 8

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:57, 9/11/2016

Outcast/Chapter 17 ~ Silver Nomination[]

🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 18:48 Mon Sep 5

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:21, 9/08/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:57, 9/11/2016

Join Request[]

Can I join? Hollywhisker123 (talk) 20:35, September 21, 2016 (UTC)

Yup sure. Make sure to read the guidelines and have fun! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:36, 9/21/2016

October FA[]

Maybe Cloudstar's Journey since we haven't done a novella in a while; open to suggestions for other books too. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:26, 9/07/2016

If Icy is done with wriitng the Bonus Scene for TAQ (I can't tell if she is or not) then I think maybe that would be a better idea, since it's been a while since the book was released and it has yet to be featured. If it's not done, then I think CJ would be good. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 02:58 Thu Sep 8

I'll finish TAQ's bonus scene today but I'm on a phone so spelling mistakes may be visible. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 12:52, September 8, 2016 (UTC)

Alright I lied but I promise I'll do that tomorrow. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 02:36, September 15, 2016 (UTC)

It is done. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 00:11, September 16, 2016 (UTC)

I guess CBV then? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 00:11 Fri Sep 16

Vote's up. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 00:18 Tue Sep 20

Rising Storm/Chapter 15 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 03:19, 9/17/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:04, 9/20/2016

In the 1st paragraph, "hears Smallear tell the others" Who are 'the others'? The elders? If so, I think it would be better if you specified that because it doens't say who they are.
"The young gray she-cat's voice sounds from her nest in the den, and questions why he's here. Yellowfang scolds that..." According to what is said afterwards, it sounds like Cinderpelt asked what Fireheart was doing a bit rudely? So maybe replace 'questions' with a word like 'demand' that would imply less politeness? Your call though.
In the 3rd, "Cinderpelt mews in amusement, but then orders the ginger warrior to go eat before Yellowfang eats the whole pile." 'eat' sounds redundant
"Fireheart then calls to Whitestorm to come with him, and then tells Mousefur to lead them to where this all happened." Maybe use 'then' only once in the sentence? I think it would make it sound a bit better. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 00:10 Fri Sep 23

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:13, 9/23/2016

Re-CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 14:30 Fri Sep 23

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:57, 9/26/2016

Hollyleaf's Story/Chapter 2 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? Songheart 16:31, September 18, 2016 (UTC)

There's some part tense scattered through the article if you could go through to tweak that.
'Ask' seems a bit redundant in the 2nd paragraph
'Hollyleaf' and 'Fallen Leaves' seem redundant in the second to last paragraph
Maybe link 'fish' to Prey#fish in the second paragraph —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 16:36, 9/18/2016

Fixed Made a few adjustments too. Songheart 18:23, September 18, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:16, 9/21/2016

in the 2nd paragraph beginning, 'she' sounds redundant. 'She' sounds redundant in the 2nd-to-last paragraph too. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 01:08 Fri Sep 23

Imo, if prey and herbs are already linked, then I don't think we need to link it again and again for each prey and herb mention. I could understand if it's an extremely long article, such as something like Firestar or Bramblestar, but this is a fairly short page and the multiple link thing isn't necessary.

Is there also a better main quote? I haven't read Hollyleaf's Story in a while, but I'm sure there's something. It just seems like Fallen Leaves is telling Hollyleaf to do something... could just be me though, take my tired opinions with a grain of salt. I also think moving "(unnamed)" after the cite seems to be a bit more aesthetically pleasing, but that's just me being weird. —Jayce(02:11, 9/23/2016)

Re-edited I wasn't able to find another quote that would fit, so I think that's the best one in the chapter. Songheart 19:56, September 23, 2016 (UTC)

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 20:04, September 23, 2016 (UTC)

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:57, 9/26/2016

Leaving[]

I'm going to be leaving this project, along with all the other projects on this wiki. I had a lot of fun here and really wish I could have stuck around, maybe really did some work on this one project, but I don't have enough time for it. I might rejoin, once I'm not as busy anymore.

I'm really sorry.

~Patch feather~ 14:24, October 10, 2016 (UTC)

Sorry to see you go! We'll always be here should you want to return :) —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:26, 10/10/2016

Bramblestar's Storm/Chapter 1 ~ Silver Nomination[]

It's been so long since I did something for Books. If somebody claimed this, I'm dead. Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 00:37, October 4, 2016 (UTC)

Add a quote
Berrynose comes up behind him, agreeing with him. -redundant, and also Berrynose and Bramblestar are redundant through 1st paragraph
Link 'mentor' and 'patrol' too^
Check for past tense aka this and a few others throughout summary -- Amberpaw asks Berrynose where they were going, WindClan or ShadowClan and what they will do if they see trespassers. Also for this maybe add a transition in the sentence since it flows a bit oddly?
Bit of choppiness sentence-wise at the end of 1st paragraph, too
First sentence of second paragraph is a run-on; and in 2nd paragraph Amberpaw is redundant; also link mouse to Prey#mouse, and link apprentice in there too
Rosepetal, Berrynose, and Bramblestar redundant in center of 3rd paragraph; Sedgewhisker is too, at the very end, so perhaps swap one out with 'the WindClan queen' or something, and also change 'pregnant' to 'expecting' since that's Clan Terminology
In the last paragraph, check for redundancy, and bits of past-tense.

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:57, 10/04/2016

Actually for the mouse link, it should be linked to Prey#Mice instead of Prey#mouse, since the second only links to the prey page. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 02:22 Wed Oct 5

I'm right now in school, and secretly working on it... any suggestions for the quote? Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 13:38, October 6, 2016 (UTC)

Perhaps use one of Berrynose's towards the very back end of the chapter, or one from the altercation with WindClan. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 13:47, 10/06/2016

UPDATED Okay, I hated Berrynose's whole "CLAN NEED MORE CATS" speech cuz I thought it was way too long. So I shortened it. Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 01:04, October 7, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:26, 10/10/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:44, 10/13/2016

Moth Flight's Vision/Chapter 8 ~ Silver Nomination[]

it's so rainy outside rn :P —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:37, 10/06/2016

Add the link from General Clan information to Categoy:Clans and groups in the third paragraph
I don't know why, but for me, the she-cat (describing Cow) seems a little redundant. Probably not, but it just bugs me a little... maybe find some other descriptions?
Like above, this is probably only me, but "The WindClan cat" is used for Moth Flight quite a lot. Like Cow, try to find another description...?

I suck at constructive criticism, so probably trust someone else for this :P Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 01:18, October 7, 2016 (UTC)

Updated Fiddled with it some. It's kinda tricky, since Cow wasn't named in the first part of the chapter —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:29, 10/07/2016

Yikes I hate being a killer, but I'm so sorry -

Micah's yellow tom seems a little like the abovey...? Maybe like rogue, barn cat, etc., I don't know. :v

Last thing, I really promise. Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 02:04, October 7, 2016 (UTC)

Updated Gotcha, thanks^^ —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 02:11, 10/07/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:26, 10/10/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:44, 10/13/2016

Shadows of the Clans/Gallery ~ Silver Nomination[]

I did the main article nomination, but the gallery wasn't added until after that. Here goes —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:32, 10/07/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:26, 10/10/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:44, 10/13/2016

Hollyleaf's Story/Chapter 3 ~Silver Nomination[]

Comments on this? I'll probably fix it up later. Songheart 02:03, October 9, 2016 (UTC)

Perhaps expand the quote description
Put the character lists into split lists {mclist things
'Hollyleaf', 'Fallen Leaves', 'She' and 'He' are redundant throughout the summary -- perhaps try to go through and add some other descriptions.
Check for past tense in the first two paragraphs
ledge is redundant in the middle of the second paragraph; and also 'asks' is quite redundant throughout the summary
Link 'fish' to Prey#fish and link kits to Kit
Check sentence capitalization in the third paragraph —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 17:08, 10/09/2016

Fixed There is this one part the first paragraph that probably wasn't written well, but it refers to events before the chapter:

During the time she had spent down there, Hollyleaf felt as if many seasons had passed since she started exercising, but Fallen Leaves assured her that the moon wasn't full yet. He had told her to exercise in the cavern and he would leave her for most of the day and all night.

I think it's fine, but if it seems out of place, are there any suggestions I could use to fix it? Songheart 22:53, October 9, 2016 (UTC)

It seems fine to me, but there's a couple of things that you can fix in the part itself.

The first sentence seems like a run-on. Shorten it somehow?
"He" is a little redundant in the last sentence. 'Nother description? Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 11:32, October 10, 2016 (UTC)

Fixed it. Songheart 19:04, October 11, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 16:54, 10/15/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:25, 10/18/2016

November FA[]

Any ideas for this month? Maybe Warrior's Return? We haven't done a lot of the manga and if we finish that off maybe we could make way for the fifth serires and if TR and BS ever get finished. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 16:21, October 8, 2016 (UTC)

Sure^^ That works —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 16:22, 10/08/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 02:50, 10/15/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:33, 10/18/2016

Hollyleaf's Story/Chapter 4 ~Silver Nomination[]

Would the fox cub count as a character? Songheart 17:50, October 16, 2016 (UTC)

Yeah, I personally think it would. CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:10, 10/20/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:24, 10/23/2016

Missing Book Covers and Wrong Description[]

I sawn that there are some Book Covers missing in the gallerys but I have no Idea how to add them there. How can I show them to you? Also, the description of the third cover here Twilight/Gallery is wrong. Its not the "Traditional Chinese Language Edition Released in Taiwan", it should be "Simplified Chinese Language Edition Released in China". The one released in Taiwan is not in the gallery jet. LittleMew 13:51, October 9, 2016 (UTC)

Does no one have an answer for me D:? LittleMew 10:17, October 15, 2016 (UTC)

If you want to add pictures to the galleries, upload them using the proper names (examples of acronyms can be found here and naming conventions Into the Wild/Gallery), then use the cover template to add them to the page. Or just ask someone like Maple who adds gallery things a lot and they can add the ones you found. And if the description in the gallery you pointed out is wrong, then just change it? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 16:52, 10/15/2016

Thank you for explaining it. The problem is that you can't just change the description with one klick. The file needs to be renamed from "File:NP-5-CN.jpg" to "NP-5-CN2.jpg" and I can't do that D: LittleMew 18:10, October 15, 2016 (UTC)

I renamed the file. The title on the gallery should be fixed now. Thanks for pointing that out.

Also, what were the book covers that you said were missing in the gallery? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 20:51 Sat Oct 15

I will write a pn to you! LittleMew 10:55, October 16, 2016 (UTC)

Joining Request[]

Could I join? – • Water • 03:14, October 28, 2016 (UTC)

Sure. Make sure to read the guidelines, and welcome to the project! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 10:45, 10/28/2016

Leafpool's Wish/Chapter 2 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:17, 10/28/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:11, 10/30/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:17, 11/01/2016

Cloudstar's Journey/Chapter 3 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:36, 10/29/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:46, 10/31/2016

A Dangerous Path/Chapter 6 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? – • Water • 22:56, October 29, 2016 (UTC)

I am not sure about the quote, tell me if you want me to change it. – • Water • 23:16, October 29, 2016 (UTC)

I think the quote's good, but I'm pretty sure summaries are supposed to be in present tense, so perhaps go through and change some parts for that? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:51, 10/29/2016

Done. – • Water • 00:14, October 30, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:15, 11/01/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:39, 11/04/2016

A Dangerous Path/Chapter 7 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? – • Water • 05:31, October 30, 2016 (UTC)

Check for tiny bits of redundancy throughout the summary, and perhaps switch some mentions like "Graypool" to "the gray elder" or "Tigerstar" to "the ShadowClan leader" etc.
Link Fox (Creature) in the last paragraph —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 16:34, 10/30/2016

Fixed. – • Water • 23:36, October 30, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:26, 11/01/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:39, 11/04/2016

Cloudstar's Journey/Chapter 4 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:37, 10/31/2016

"What's happened" seems a little weird-footed (is that a word? Probably not). Maybe change it to "What has happened"? English isn't my first language so save me if I'm wrong :P

Link "territory" in Paragraph 2 to The forest territories.

Like in your Moth Flight's nomination, "the leader" as an alternate reference to Cloudstar seems a bit redundant. Maybe something like, "the gray tom", etc.

Link deputy to Deputy.

Link den in Paragraph 2 to Den.

Is "Twolegs don't live by their code" a reference to the Warrior Code? If it is, like code to The warrior code.

Sneaking in on the internet like the loser I am, only escape from Chemistry homework. Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 23:04, November 1, 2016 (UTC)

Updated Did all but deputy and the warrior code were already linked, so I didn't add a second one. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:16, 11/01/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:39, 11/04/2016

Sorry to break your CBV but in the 2nd paragraph, it says "Hazelwing worries about her kits". Idk if she mentions them by name, if they actually appear, or if she just says that she is afraid for her kits, but Webkit and Mistlekit (SkC) should be in either the minor and mentioned characters list. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 14:15 Sun Nov 6

Updated Listed those two + Emberkit^^ Out of her kits, those three weren't mentioned, only Hatchkit was so they're in the mentioned list. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 16:05, 11/06/2016

Re-CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 16:07 Sun Nov 6

Vote's up! 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:38 Mon Nov 7

Cloudstar's Journey/Chapter 5 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 17:11, 11/06/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:43, 11/09/2016

"Cloudstar dismisses Fawnstep, noting to tell Buzzardtail to organize patrols as normal." Is he noting to himself of to her? Could you specify, since it's a bit confusing if he is thinking that or telling Fawnstep that.
in the last paragraph, "Birdflight greets the tom when he enters, commenting that she's been worried about him. The tom is shocked that there's nothing on the fresh-kill pile," 'tom' is redundant, maybe say 'her mate' or 'the gray cat' or something instead.
This one is your choice but: "The deputy protests, but Cloudstar snaps that they'll have to make do before stalking to his nest." I think it would be better to change 'stalking' with 'he stalks' and add a comma after 'make do', (and maybe even change before with then) because the way it is now it sounds like Cloudstar is saying that "they'll have to make do before stalking to his nest" if that makes sense. In the end it's your call but I think it would make more sense if you changed the 'stalking' to 'he stalks' and added a comma. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:18 Thu Nov 10

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:48, 11/10/2016

Re-CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 00:02 Fri Nov 11

Vote's up. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 15:52 Sun Nov 13

Moth Flight's Vision/Chapter 7 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:02, 11/10/2016

Dust Muzzle's source for when he was mentioned is page 48, which isn't in this chapter. Don't know if that's supposed to be 58 or something else... 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:26 Thu Nov 10

Also: "She inquires about the yellow tom, and one of the cats, a brown tom, asks her if she means Micah." 'tom' sounds redundant: maybe say 'the yellow tabby' instead of 'the yellow tom'. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:27 Thu Nov 10

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:29, 11/10/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 21:37, November 11, 2016 (UTC)

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:48, 11/14/2016

Cloudstar's Journey/Chapter 10 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Finished off the last half of this —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:27, 11/10/2016

In the 2nd paragraph, "After announcing that the second kit is a she-cat, Fawnstep runs her paw along the queen determines that there were only two to be delivered and tells her to get some sleep while she brings her some soaked moss." Could you maybe split the sentence, since it's a bit too long rn, imo
Maybe link Gorseclaw earlier, to 'the first kit' (from "first kit slips out onto the moss"), and same for Spottedpelt? Your choice though I think it's fine either way.
Maybe link 'names' in the 3rd pagagraph to Names?
In the last paragraph, "Cloudstar hisses a parting shot" Did you mean 'parting shout'? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:38 Thu Nov 10

Updated for the last one, I mean to put parting shot^^ —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:46, 11/10/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 14:38, 11/13/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:11, 11/15/2016

Join[]

Hi, I'd like to join? ✧Winter✧ 00:28, 11/15/2016

Added you in. Please make sure to read the guidelines, and welcome to the Project! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:38, 11/15/2016

Thunder and Shadow ~ Silver Nomination[]

Well that took a while to write... This includes Gallery and Allegiances. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:21, 11/10/2016

In the 3rd paragraph, "notes that Brightheart's patrol must've not had time to hunt when they found Rowanstar. In Bramblestar's den, he tells them Littlecloud is dying,..." Could you specify that the last 'he' is Rowanstar?
"Bramblestar then faces Alderpaw, and the apprentice faces his father expectantly. " 'faces' is redundant
"She asks Pinenose about her worries, but she ignores her and tells her to go to sleep. " 'she' is redundant, maybe replace the second 'she' with the queen, or something? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 15:35 Sat Nov 12

Also, for the Allegiances, would Lakeheart's kits be changed? I think it's kept in the original allegiance form, but should a note be added at the bottom that Softkit, Gorsekit, Dapplekit, and Harekit don't exist? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 15:39 Sat Nov 12

Updated For the allegiances, I left a note like was on some of the other alleg. pages, so hopefully that works ^^ —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:40, 11/12/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:08, 11/15/2016

Vote's up! 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 00:02 Fri Nov 18

Super Edition 10[]

So, on Kate's Blog, on HJ Spoiler Page, Kate confirms it is a DovewingXTigerheart based book. (Which I don't see the need for a whole se on this ship imo). Scroll through the comment pages, I don't think the confirmation is on the current page.

So. Should we proceed to make a Super Edition 10 page as we know what it will be about?

--Foxey ^{Whispers and enchantments} 23:10, November 9, 2016 (UTC)

Okay, never mind I just saw the page existed already =P--Foxey ^{Whispers and enchantments} 23:11, November 9, 2016 (UTC)

I don't see the confirmation on the trivia you just added? It's not on that comment page, and we shouldn't have to dig for the cite. Direct comment linking does not work on Kate's blog, so you'll have to screenshot and double ref. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:14, 11/09/2016

I looked and couldn't find the exact cite you're talking about. It seems more like Kate being vague and fans jumping to conclusions again. —Jayce(23:15, 11/09/2016)

Sorry, wrong link! Here we go --Foxey ^{Whispers and enchantments} 23:17, November 9, 2016 (UTC)

That was a random edit conflict...anyway, she did say "I am told at the moment that the next SE is DovexTiger." —Jay ^{I hope they remember you....}^{^ϟ} 23:19, 11/09/2016 23:19, November 9, 2016 (UTC)

Yeah, I added it in the trivia. --Foxey ^{Whispers and enchantments} 23:20, November 9, 2016 (UTC)

Then you need to find the exact cite that says that. You can't just link it and expect us to go digging around for the citation in the other pages. Burden of proof falls on you, not us. —Jayce(23:23, 11/09/2016)

Join?[]

Hi, I was wondering if I I could join this project? Maplepaw (talk) 19:01, November 21, 2016 (UTC)

Added you in^^ Make sure to read the guidelines and welcome to the project! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:15, 11/21/2016

December FA[]

Well, we could do TAS or maybe CJ to go with a somewhat SkyClan theme since HJ was recently released. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:28, 11/10/2016

Maybe Thunder and Shadow. —Jay ^{I hope they remember you....}^{^ϟ} 22:37, 11/10/2016 22:37, November 10, 2016 (UTC)

That should be nominated for silver first before we put it as FA. If that gets nominated for silver and passes, then yes, we can do that. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 00:17, November 11, 2016 (UTC)

... scratch that. I'm an idiot. I mean it should pass first. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 00:17, November 11, 2016 (UTC)

I agree with Icy ^^ 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 15:40 Sat Nov 12

CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:46 Tue Nov 15

By the way, there's a reason this isn't up yet - I'm just waiting until it passes in general and then I'll put up the FA thing. Does that sound good with everyone? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 22:26, November 20, 2016 (UTC)

Yep Icy, I was actually thinking the same exact thing. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:19 Mon Nov 21

I agree too. Songheart 21:55, November 22, 2016 (UTC)

Okay now the vote's up. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 01:43 Wed Nov 23

Rising Storm/Chapter 17 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 16:34, 11/22/2016

There is a typo in the first sentence in the third paragraph. Songheart 17:27, November 22, 2016 (UTC)

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 17:48, 11/22/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:29, 11/25/2016

In the 1st paragraph, "The ginger deputy slowly approaches his leader, and is shocked by the fear and shock in her eyes." 'shock' sounds redundant.
In the 2nd-to-last, "Thornpaw sits in the clearing with Cinderpelt and her mentor fixing his paw." It's a bit confusing what's going on, if I understood it right I think 'fixing' should be 'fixes' and there should be a comma after Cinderpelt. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:41 Fri Nov 25

Updated for the second one, I tweaked the whole sentence in general to make it flow better, since even if I put fixes it still sounded off to me^ —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:46, 11/25/2016

Let's just continue the CBV. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:51 Fri Nov 25

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:48, 11/28/2016

Trivia[]

Forgive me if I make no sense because I'm. On my phone. I was stalking the wiki and I recalled that on a few book articles. We have a section for trivia, some of them list all the issues in the book, some of them list none, some of them list a little. I believe we should decide for the layout. Should we include. All trivia? None? The important ones? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 02:36, September 15, 2016 (UTC)

I noticed that before too and was actually going to bring it up but forgot :P I think that errors shouldn't be listed in the trivia, because in some books (like MFV) there are just so many of them that none of the other trivia would be noticeable in all of it. I don't think that mistakes are that important anyways, but we could link that book's section in Mistakes in the Warriors Series in the trivia and say that the mistakes in said book are listed there. I think that's what you are talking about? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 00:08 Fri Sep 16

I agree. But, there should be some trivia, imo. Just the stuff about the book itself, like what the working title was and other major things like that. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:09, 9/16/2016

Anymore comments on this? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 03:30, September 22, 2016 (UTC)

I could understand if it's a major mistake, such as the issue with Graystripe and his kits in Bramblestar's Storm, since I think that warranted a reprint, but minor mistakes, such as description, gender, eye color errors, ect, shouldn't be mentioned in the trivia, but on the Mistakes page as well as a given character's article. Working titles, plot changes, and other tidbits about the books themselves are appropriate, while the Mistakes page is beneficial for the rest of said mistakes....

Although now that I think of it, that page is getting extremely long. Would there be a way to possibly shorten that with the use of subpages or something along those lines? —Jayce(03:34, 9/22/2016)

Good idea. Any ideas for it? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 01:15, October 2, 2016 (UTC)

I'd be good with separating it per arc, since having a page for each book might be a bit tedious. But yeah we should totally to that^ —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:16, 10/02/2016

Poke —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:19, 11/01/2016

I don't think anyone else is going to comment... but it does seem like Icy seems to be for separating it by arc, so I think we could go ahead and do that? I know she's avoiding the wiki until she's finished Hawkwing's Journey... But one person should do it, so we don't all jump on each other and edit conflict. —Jayce(00:12, 11/07/2016)

Let's go ahead and implement this. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 00:18, November 11, 2016 (UTC)

The First Battle/Chapter 1 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? Songheart 21:54, November 22, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:29, 11/25/2016

In the 1st paragraph, "Clear Sky narrows his eyes at Thunder, who is climbing the slope to the moor with Frost, leaving the forest. Clear Sky feels a pang of regret gnawing in his belly." Clear Sky sounds redundant
In the 2nd paragraph, "The two cats bicker over Stoneteller " I don't really understand what you mean by that.
In the 3rd paragraph, "He glances at Fircone and Nettle, the two toms who have persuaded Thunder to convince him to not expand the territory." Is the 'him' (as in 'convince him') Clear Sky? Can you specificy that?
In the 4th paragraph, "He decides to put their minds to rest about the territory." Who is the 'he'?
Also in the 4th, "Clear Sky becomes furious when |his brother is mentioned." Since there isn't any detail about it this sentence just seems out of place. Could you either explain more about how Gray Wing is mentioned, or just get rid of the sentence, I feel like it just makes it confusing rn.
Was Misty mentioned by name in the chapter, or was she just said to be Alder and Birch's mother? If she wasn't mentioned by name, it should say '(Unnamed)' after her name in the Mentioned characters list. Also, Gray Wing should be in the mentioned characters list. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:56 Fri Nov 25

Updated Songheart 19:06, December 1, 2016 (UTC)

"Clear Sky glances at Fircone and Nettle, the two toms who have persuaded Thunder to convince him to not expand the territory. " It still doesn't say who the 'him' is.
Could you find the page for when Gray Wing was mentioned and cite it? If not, you can just cite it as the chapter number. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:48 Thu Dec 1

Updated Songheart 21:04, December 4, 2016 (UTC)

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 00:33, December 5, 2016 (UTC)

Vote's up! 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:03 Wed Dec 7

Leafpool's Wish/Chapter 3 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:03, 11/28/2016

Firestar is redundant in the first paragraph
Link Squirrelflight to Squirrelflight
Crowfeather is slightly redundant in the second paragraph
Can you find any other alternate description than the medicine cat for Leafpool? If so, could you possibly use it somehow?

Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 23:15, November 29, 2016 (UTC)

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:00, 11/30/2016

"Firestar wishes his daughter well, and the brown tabby thanks her father. The brown tabby tells Brightheart of her departure, and the she-cat agrees to help check wounds." 'brown tabby' is redundant.
I think Brightheart would be on the minor characters list, not mentioned. ("The brown tabby tells Brightheart of her departure, and the she-cat agrees to help check wounds.") 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:53 Thu Dec 1

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 03:04, 12/02/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 00:38, December 5, 2016 (UTC)

Vote's up. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:03 Wed Dec 7

Secrets of the Clans/WindClan: Swift and Loyal ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? – • Water • 02:31, November 30, 2016 (UTC)

Field guides have some really good quotes, so could you add one? And also, I'd think this would have a character list. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 11:46, 11/30/2016

Updated – • Water • 12:46, November 30, 2016 (UTC)

"Clan" is redundant in Tallstar's PoV
Check for capitalization, period, commas and other minor mistakes through the whole summary
For Onewhisker's PoV, you double-linked it - both in the PoV part and the first sentence, could you fix that?
Some sentences flow oddly because of the mis-punctuated commas/periods (e.g. In the nursery, Ashfoot says to Morningflower, that she must stay there because she is in not condition to fight, etc.)
"He" is redundant in Crowfeather's PoV
"She" is redundant in the leader parts, where Windstar is described Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 03:18, December 1, 2016 (UTC)

Updated, I am tired, so please tell me if I miss something. (English can be really difficult sometimes when it is not your first language.) – • Water • 03:41, December 1, 2016 (UTC)

Thanks! It's okay, English isn't my first language and even though I've been living in the US for many years I suck at it :D Last one though; could you link "the forest" in the main quote to The Forest territories. Sorry if I came out a little rude/blunt when I suggested. Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 23:23, December 1, 2016 (UTC)

Updated Oh, don't worry about that. – • Water • 23:32, December 1, 2016 (UTC)

Comments before vote? Also, just gonna say that you did a tremendous job with this even though your first language isn't English. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 00:40, December 5, 2016 (UTC)

Vote's up! 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:03 Wed Dec 7

Cloudstar's Journey/Chapter 6 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 06:03, 12/02/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 16:38, 12/05/2016

And I'm late, as always :/

"Redstar meows in his ear that he's glad to hear SkyClan doesn't mind sharing territory, but the pale gray cat hisses at him. Cloudstar hisses that they allow nothing of the sort, but the ThunderClan tom persists," Both 'hisses' and 'but' sound redundant.

"Swiftstar then stands up and tells the other leaders on the rock to come join the others, so they do so." I'm confused on what's happening here, who are 'the others'? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:14 Tue Dec 6

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:58, 12/06/2016

I'm still a bit confused, did Swiftstar just call the Gathering to an end when he said to join the cats below? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 02:44 Wed Dec 7

Quite literally, in the book, Cloudstar talks to Redstar, then Swiftstar is just like "yo let's join the others" so... no one calls the Gathering to an end - I checked. I dunno how I can make that clearer, as the book doesn't show the Gathering ending, and just has Swiftstar suggest for them to go, and the other leaders just follow. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 17:58, 12/07/2016

Hmm okay. Re-CBV then? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:53 Wed Dec 7

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 02:22, 12/10/2016

Crookedstar's Promise/Chapter 2 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Again, no one has been working on this so I stole it. Comments? Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 15:35, November 27, 2016 (UTC)

Add a quote
Hailstar is redundant in the second paragraph; perhaps replace a few with something different?
As the kits watch the RiverClan patrol begin their retreat to camp, Oakkit cries out that the magpie has returned. Try to shorten the intro of this sentence; it's long and kinda wordy.
Perhaps go through the summary in general and add a bit more detail to the events. Kinda bad at explaining but I'd go through and expand this in general. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:32, 11/27/2016

Updated Okay, I have appeared to lost my Crookedstar's Promise copy on the subway and it will take me a day or so to get one from the library, praying that someone didn't already take it out. So I couldn't do the quotes or add details, but I'll do that soon enough. Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 16:21, November 28, 2016 (UTC)

Updated Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 23:11, November 29, 2016 (UTC)

Good^^

Just break up the first two sentences in the first paragraph a lot; they are major run-ons.
In result, he sees the warriors swarming over the gray rocks and hears his father, Shellheart growl how dare they take Sunningrocks. This sentence seems worded oddly, as it's kinda question-like but in sentence form.. Could you tweak it?
Mudfur and Brightsky rush into camp, and Piketooth following with a carp in his mouth. shouldn't it be follows instead of following? Sounds a bit funny
Check for past tense throughout
As the two kits scamper up the trunk, with the brown tabby kit warning his brother to dig his claws in due to how slippery it is, they finally reach a branch where it was thin enough to dip under the brothers' weight. maybe break this in two; it's a tad long
A tabby warrior halts to see Shellheart and his patrol swim through the river, and he bares his teeth, darting to the edge of the patrol. patrol is redundant
RiverClan is redundant in the 3rd paragraph

Sorry for lots of stuff. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:08, 11/30/2016

Updated Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 17:29, November 30, 2016 (UTC)

In the 1st paragraph, ":Stormkit, hears Rippleclaw announce that ThunderClan has taken Sunningrocks. He races up a fallen tree..." It's a bit confusing on who 'he' is.
Same thing in the 2nd paragraph: "Hailstar comes out of his den, snapping at the deputy's kit to come down from the branch, and he soon follows his order." I know that the 'he' is Stormkit, but could you still make it a bit more clear?
"Rippleclaw asks if they're going to let ThunderClan steal all the territory they want, and Echomist defends her mate by retorting that they only want Sunningrocks." Can you specificy who the 'they' is?
"Finally, instead of ordering an attack like the Clan wishes, the RiverClan leader finally decides that a group of warriors should Sunningrocks to deliver the message" Having two 'finally's is unneccessary, can you get rid of one of them?
"Shellheart immediately charges towards the entrance tunnel to carry out his order" Again the 'his' is a little confusing, you could just make it be 'the order'.
"As the two kits scamper up the trunk, with the brown tabby kit warning his brother to dig his claws in due to how slippery it is," Both of them are brown tabbies, so I can't tell if it's Oakkit or Stormkit.
" while two ThunderClan warriors pace near the river, both of them alert for any intruding warriors." 'warriors' is redundant, maybe just change the second to 'intruding cats' or 'intruders'?
"Shellheart pulls him back and tells Pinestar that he can have the territory for now, as well as helping himself to the prey he finds; but when his Clan wants the territory back, they will fight for it. Without waiting for a response, he plunges back in the river with his Clanmates following nearby." Again, the he's and his's are kind of confusing. Maybe change 'his Clan' to 'RiverClan', and specificy that the 'he' as in 'he plunges back into the river' is Shellheart, either by name or description? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:25 Thu Dec 1

Updated Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 14:13, December 2, 2016 (UTC)

In the sentence "Rippleclaw asks if they're going to let ThunderClan steal all the territory they want, and Echomist defends her mate by retorting that the Clan only wants Sunningrocks." I still can't tell who 'the Clan' is - is it ThunderClan or RiverClan? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:35 Fri Dec 2

Shellheart growls how dare they take Sunningrocks, then leaps on (either a or the) willow tree trunk and hurries along one of the boughs that reaches over the water.

Link patrol in the second paragraph.

Same paragraph: but Troutclaw objects by saying they lost enough battles. Who is "they"?

Same paragraph: the RiverClan leader decides that a group of warriors should go to Sunningrocks to deliver the message

In the next paragraph, who is the leading kit helping his brother up the branch?

Turn this into a separate sentence: when RiverClan wants the territory back, they will fight for it.

If possible, put the unnamed ThunderClan warriors, such as the tabby warrior, in the minor characters list? Songheart 21:29, December 4, 2016 (UTC)

Updated To answer your question :), the "leading kit" is Stormkit, since Oakkit follows him up the branch. One question I have is that "when RiverClan wants the territory back, they will fight for it" - I know I have it in a semicolon to separate it, and it was originally so the two sentences didn't seem choppy and odd when they were on their own... do you have suggestions on how to make it less choppy when I make it a separate sentence? Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 22:43, December 6, 2016 (UTC)

I think you could clarify who's the leading kit by using a description like 'reddish brown kit' for Oakkit or something, as it's pretty unclear to who that is still. And for the other sentence it doesn't seem too choppy atm, so I'd keep it as-is. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:45, 12/07/2016

Updated Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 01:45, December 8, 2016 (UTC)

Comments before vote? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:19 Fri Dec 9

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:07, 12/12/2016

Cloudstar's Journey/Chapter 8 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Last CJ chapter! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:49, 12/06/2016

CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:19 Fri Dec 9

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:07, 12/12/2016

Cloudstar's Journey/Chapter 7 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:57, 12/04/2016

This is pretty minor but: You said "Cloudstar lets out an anguished yowl that this is his home." but the book says that Cloudstar yowls, "My home! My precious home!” I think it would be more accurate if you said, "Cloudstar lets out an anguished yowl for his home.", since he technically isn't stating it is his home but is just sad about what happened to it.🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:22 Tue Dec 6

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:59, 12/06/2016

Comments before vote? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:19 Fri Dec 9

There is a typo in the first paragraph: The leader surveys they area.

In the last paragraph, Twoleg's should be spelled as Twolegs' for plural purposes. Songheart 16:51, December 10, 2016 (UTC)

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:38, 12/10/2016

Re-CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:01, 12/12/2016

Vote's up! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:08, 12/14/2016

Rising Storm/Chapter 18 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:21, 12/09/2016

In the first paragraph, the word then seems to be used twice here. Are you able to remove one of them to make the sentence structure flow better? "Yellowfang mews briskly that it won’t be for long, and then she turns to the medicine den to fetch some herbs. The medicine cat then treats Fireheart’s wounds, and he tells her that he’ll be making more patrols to ease the Clan."

Second paragraph: Bluestar, Whitestorm, and Mousefur are crouching beside Runningwind’s body, sitting vigil. Songheart 17:03, December 10, 2016 (UTC)

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:42, 12/10/2016

"The ginger warrior goes back into the clearing and sees that many cats remain awake. Bluestar, Whitestorm, and Mousefur crouching beside Runningwind’s body, sitting vigil" The second sentence is a fragment, could you fix this?
A minor inconsistency, but in the characters list, for the unnamed characters, Sorrelkit has no space between '(Unnamed)' and the cite, while Rainkit, Sootkit, and Ravenpaw do. For all other subpages I'm pretty sure there is no space so I think it would be best to get rid of the space after Rain, Soot, and Raven's "unnamed". Either way, though, it should be consistent. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 01:40 Sun Dec 11

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:44, 12/11/2016

CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:51 Tue Dec 13

Bluestar's Prophecy/Chapter 5 - Silver Nomination[]

I haven't done anything for PB in ages. —Ivy ☆ 00:38, December 10, 2016 (UTC)

In the third paragraph near the end, add an "s" at the end of the word apprentice.

In the fifth paragraph, near the end, remove the "it" from this sentence: invites her to come to the Gathering that it is to be held that night. Songheart 17:13, December 10, 2016 (UTC)

Updated. —Ivy ☆ 18:05, December 10, 2016 (UTC)

Maybe go through and cut down on the redundancy of 'she' in the summary^ These some of these could probably be replaced with 'the she-cat' or 'cat' or something. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 02:26, 12/11/2016

Updated. I took out "she" in the places it made the most sense to substitute it or where it sounded most redundant. I can take a few more out if you want, though. —Ivy ☆ 13:56, December 11, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:06, 12/14/2016

The Warriors Guide ~ Silver Nomination[]

Just the main article; did it in the summary format of other field guides. Kinda... has the exact same sections as sotc; dunno if it needs cliffnotes cause of that. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 03:20, 12/10/2016

If it has the exact same information as SotC, then I don't think it needs the cliffnotes page. —Jayce(09:58, 12/10/2016)

"After, it lists of significant medicine cats and leaders, as well as additional information about a Clan's specialties." I'm not sure if it's an error or not, but I think it would at least sound better if it was "it lists significant medicine cats" rather than "it lists of significant medicine cats"
"In SkyClan, there is a page detailing their aboveground battle moves." I'm not sure if it actually spells 'aboveground' like that in the book, but if not I think there should be a "-" between above and ground. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 01:52 Sun Dec 11

Also, I think it would be better if the spoiler tag was at the very top of the page, since it's like that for all other pages. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 01:53 Sun Dec 11

Updated yeah, first one was a typo. It does say 'aboveground' as one long word in the book, so I'll probably keep it that way to be consistent. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:56, 12/11/2016

CBV? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:51 Tue Dec 13

Rising Storm/Chapter 19 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:42, 12/10/2016

In the 2nd-to-last paragraph, "The pale ginger she-cat asks Ravenpaw if he misses Clan life, and he replies that he likes his life now." 'he' is slightly redundant.
Imo, Ravenpaw and Sandstorm were also major characters in this chapter... but its your call. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 02:00 Sun Dec 11

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 02:16, 12/11/2016

Comments before vote? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:51 Tue Dec 13

Rising Storm/Chapter 20 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:28, 12/11/2016

"The loner comments that they’re still as fast as ever, but Sandstorm inquires icily that they have an apprentice to rescue." 'inquire' means to ask, did you mean a different word instead?
"The white tom jumps onto a ledge, and Fireheart can see that he looks skinnier and unhappy. He calls down to Sandstorm and Ravenpaw that he’s here, and the she-cat asks if Cloudpaw has seen him." In the second sentence, the 'he's and 'him's are kinda confusing on who is who.
"Fireheart freezes, knowing they’d been seen, and watches as the Twoleg comes slowly closer to them. Sandstorm draws in a trembling breath as they loom over the trapped cats." It said 'the Twoleg' which would mean one Twoleg, earlier, so it shoudn't be 'they loom', since that would mean there are multiple Twolegs...
Here too, I think Sandstorm and Ravenpaw were major characters but again it's your choice. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 02:08 Sun Dec 11

Updated idk in the book it used inquired, so that's why I did, but I switched it anyhow. and I did 'they' since I don't know what gender the Twoleg was, but I swapped it with 'Twoleg' and probably made it more redundant, but there's nothing else to put. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 02:20, 12/11/2016

You could use 'it' for the Twoleg, since it has been used for the gender of Twolegs in both books and the summaries. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 02:35 Sun Dec 11

Reuploaded was originally trying to avoid that, but I guess that's the only way to do it w/o it being redundant —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 02:41, 12/11/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:06, 12/14/2016

A Dangerous Path/Chapter 9 ~ Silver Nomination[]

I literally love the quote on this one so much <laughs> —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:28, 12/11/2016

Maybe link 'hawk' in the 2nd paragraph to Prey#Hawks? In the context it doesn't have to do with prey but it's the only page for hawks... idk you can if you want.
"The medicine cat replies that it was not, and she has not had any messages from them recently. This calms the Clan when she continues that Snowkit being taken was only an accident. Fireheart thanks the medicine cat, and she pads back to her den." 'medicine cat' sounds a little bit redundant.
"He tells the Clan to be cautious while in the forest until it goes away. He orders apprentices only to go out with a warrior" 'he' is a bit redundant. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 02:14 Sun Dec 11

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 02:22, 12/11/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:06, 12/14/2016

Bramblestar's Storm/Chapter 3 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Alright, I have nothing to do and please tell me no one's nominating this already. My chemistry tests are over, and I need something to rant about. Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 15:32, November 27, 2016 (UTC)

Add a quote
Remove the important events section, imo, as per this from awhile back.
Patrol is redundant in 1st paragraph
Break up the first sentence of the summary; it's a bit of a run-on
Towards the end of the first paragraph, Bramblestar and Brackenfur are redundant some
- Bramblestar is also redundant in other paragraphs as well
Littlecloud is redundant in the last paragraph
"says" is redundant too; perhaps swap a few with "meows" or something
Link border and patrol —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:52, 11/27/2016

Updated Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 16:05, November 28, 2016 (UTC)

Maybe link 'Twoleg nest' to ThunderClan#In_The_Lake_Territories, since there is a section on it there? If not, I think you should link it to Twoleg Nest. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 19:46 Mon Nov 28

Updated Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 16:26, November 29, 2016 (UTC)

Last thing - Blackstar is pretty redundant in the second paragraph, and "ShadowClan" is too. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:12, 11/30/2016

Updated Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 17:33, November 30, 2016 (UTC)

For the first paragraph, I am confused by this sentence. What does Squirrelflight suggest? Squirrelflight suggests to double them on the ShadowClan border, and to hunt there more regularly as well. Trespass is also misspelled. Can you put more in about Cinderheart thinking about the Great Battle as it does seem a bit abrupt.

For a sentence in the second paragraph: Blackstar then orders Tawnypelt to escort patrol back. there should be the word "the" between escort and patrol.

In the third paragraph, I'm not sure if what you mean by "brown tom" is Bramblestar or Littlecloud. Are you able to clarify who is speaking? Songheart 22:45, December 1, 2016 (UTC)

Updated I'm confused about the abrupt of Cinderheart thinking about the battle - could you possibly expand on that or give me suggestions what to add to it, since I don't know what you want me to add to that part. Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 14:06, December 2, 2016 (UTC)

"They cross across the new ThunderClan land that had been gained in the battle where Russetfur died. Cinderheart wonders if the forest will ever recover from the Great Battle." I think what I meant to say here was the sentence seems to imply that Russetfur died in the Great Battle, as it does say the land that ThunderClan gained a while back is "new". Songheart 21:13, December 4, 2016 (UTC)

Still working? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 00:23 Mon Dec 12

Rising Storm/Chapter 21 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:40, 12/13/2016

"Fireheart thanks Ravenpaw for taking them this far, and the tom says that they will always be friends. The black tom leaves..." 'tom' is redundant.
"The black tom cites that he’s as slow as all forest cats" Did you mean 'the black tom notes', or a different word? I'm not sure if cite is the correct word there. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:58 Tue Dec 13

Updated idk in the technical sense of the word, cite would work, but I guess it kinda sounded funny in the summary so I put 'snarled' like in the book. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:05, 12/13/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:35, 12/16/2016

Rising Storm/Chapter 22 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:21, 12/13/2016

"The deputy announces that Cloudpaw is back, and she questions how the apprentice found his way back. " 'back' sounds redundant. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 23:04 Tue Dec 13

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:06, 12/13/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:35, 12/16/2016

Rising Storm/Chapter 23 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:21, 12/13/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:35, 12/16/2016

XxFallenpetal12xX~ Join Request[]

May I join?XxFallenpetalxX ^{Fall to the ground.} 03:30, December 18, 2016 (UTC)

Yes, I'll add you now. Make sure to read the rules and guidelines. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 08:36, December 18, 2016 (UTC)

Bluestar's Prophecy/Chapter 6 - Silver Nomination[]

—Ivy ☆ 01:44, December 11, 2016 (UTC)

Maybe link 'ThunderClan territory' in the 2nd-to-last paragraph to The Forest Territories or ThunderClan#In_the_Forest_Territories?
Also in that paragraph, he is a bit redundant, at least in this sentence: 'Featherwhisker adds that while he didn't mention WindClan specifically, he stared straight at Heatherstar" 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 01:15 Mon Dec 12

During the Gathering, she stuck so close to Moonflower that she did not take much notice of the other Clans, and when Stonepelt introduced her to a RiverClan cat, she could not even think of anything to say. Maybe break this in two - it's a bit of a run-on.
The next morning, Snowpaw goes out hunting with Sparrowpelt, but Bluepaw, worn out from her trip to the Gathering, is allowed to sleep later. Could you perhaps reword this to have less commas? It seems to be really broken up. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 12:40, 12/12/2016

Hmm I actually disagree with the second point, I think it's fine as is ^ But idk that's just my opinion. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:32 Mon Dec 12

Updated. Sorry it took me so long, I've been really busy. —Ivy ☆ 00:23, December 17, 2016 (UTC)

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 08:30, December 18, 2016 (UTC)

Rising Storm/Chapter 24 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:05, 12/14/2016

Holy crap how do you do these so fast??? Anyways, "Fireheart orders them to go one way, using a tail signal as the lightning drowns out his voice. Every cat breaks into a run, and he carries Speckletail’s kit to safety." It's a litttttle bit confusing on who 'he' is. I understand it is Fireheart but I think it might be a bit better if you said that. Also, maybe link tail signal to Tail signals? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:34 Thu Dec 15

Updted Yeah lol I've been writing them in between studying for midterms I've been taking this week. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:38, 12/15/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 08:35, December 18, 2016 (UTC)

Rising Storm/Chapter 25 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:05, 12/14/2016

"Fireheart drops Speckletail’s kit" I think that either Snowkit should be linked to 'Speckletail's kit' as a whole, or Speckletail should link to Speckletail. It doesn't make much sense to link Specketail to Snowkit.
I think for the quote, the speakers are in the wrong order. I would guess that Crookedstar told fireheart that Leaopardfoot was right to help them, not the other way around. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:40 Thu Dec 15

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:44, 12/15/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 08:35, December 18, 2016 (UTC)

Rising Storm/Chapter 26 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:08, 12/14/2016

Maybe link 'fresh-kill pile' to Camp#Main_Clearing, of 'Fresh-kill' to prey? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:35 Fri Dec 16

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:57, 12/16/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 08:35, December 18, 2016 (UTC)

Rising Storm/Chapter 27 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:08, 12/14/2016

"Graystripe returns with Crookedstar, and the leader asks why a ThunderClan warrior can’t go to check on the camp with him." Do you mean 'without' him? It sounds like that is what it is supposed to be. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:39 Fri Dec 16

In the book, I'm pretty sure Crookedstar asks Fireheart why he can't take a ThunderClan warrior with him, and so thats why I tried to copy the wording from the book. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:53, 12/16/2016

Ohhh I understood it as 'Crookedstar asks why a ThunderClan warrior (in this case, Fireheart) can't go check on the camp without him (Graystripe)'. Could you replace 'him' with Fireheart or a word to describe him then, to avoid confusion? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:59 Fri Dec 16

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:42, 12/17/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 08:35, December 18, 2016 (UTC)

Rising Storm/Chapter 28 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:37, 12/16/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 08:36, December 18, 2016 (UTC)

Rising Storm/Chapter 29 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:37, 12/16/2016

"Fireheart recalls how Bluestar refused to send the dead cats to their starry ancestors, making Whitestorm do it instead. His nephew nods, and the ginger warrior repeats to go rest." When it says 'his nephew nods', it sounds as if Cloudpaw is Whitestorm's nephew, maybe just say/describe Cloudpaw? (and possibly use 'his nephew' to describe him where it wouldn't be confusing)
Again, maybe link 'fresh-kill pile' to Camp#Main_Clearing, or just 'fresh-kill' to prey? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:50 Fri Dec 16

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:42, 12/17/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 08:36, December 18, 2016 (UTC)

Rising Storm/Chapter 30 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:37, 12/16/2016

"Tallstar asks where the ThunderClan leader is, and Fireheart replies she isn’t well enough to travel yet. He questions if the she-cat was injured in the fire, but the deputy answers that Bluestar will recover. " it is a bit confusing on who 'he' is.
Why is Gorsepaw being a brown tabby listed as an error? I thought it was decided that he was a brown tabby and his ginger-and-white description was incorrect? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:56 Fri Dec 16

Updated it's listed as a mistake because of the missing kits thing that switched it back. So yes, it was once that way I was even the one who redid his kit image but that was revoked via a confirmation of Gorsekit being ginger/white in FAI, and so the RS counts as a mistake. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:42, 12/17/2016

Hmm okay. Wow that must be frustrating to redo an image for nothing :/ In the summary though it says 'a small brown tom'. I remember once for another chapter Brightheart was described as a tortoiseshell and Icy said that even though the chapter described her like that, she shouldn't be described by color in the summary because it is technically incorrect. So idk if that would apply for Gorsepaw too, but if so then maybe just say 'a small WindClan tom' or something so that it's not incorrect. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 04:04 Sat Dec 17

Updated Yeah, I remember writing that one a long time ago for Dawn so yeah, same case. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 04:08, 12/17/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:12, 12/19/2016

January FA[]

How about Saving the Kits? I honestly can't remember when the last time we did a adventure game thing (even though they have been featured before) And it'd be a good mix-up after doing so many book articles recently. If not, though, we always have CJ. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:42, 12/07/2016

Hmm, I kinda think it would be nice to do CJ since all of the CJ subpages are now written too. But StK is still fine too. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 02:26 Wed Dec 7

I guess CJ would be pretty nice to show - it's like showing off all the hard work users worked on those subpages... how long has it been since we did novellas? I think we mostly did mangas and "regular" books... No, the "how long novella" question isn't rhetorical - someone please answer that for me Minnows ^{Welcome to^{Thomas Krestchmann!}} 02:07, December 8, 2016 (UTC)

since you asked^^ the last one we did was GC, back in May, I'm pretty sure. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:21, 12/09/2016

I personally think we should do StK just for a little bit of variety. Songheart 16:56, December 10, 2016 (UTC)

Okay wait which one do we wanna do? Saving the Kits or Cloudstar's Journey? I'm fine with either tbh. If we don't do one this month we'll just do the other next month. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 02:26, December 12, 2016 (UTC)

Right, I'll sway my side to say we should do CJ this month, which would tip the majority to do that. StK might be good for next month, though. CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 01:10, 12/18/2016

Rising Storm/Chapter 14 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Last RS chapter! Holy wow those took some effort. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:55, 12/17/2016

Updated used parts of previous summary revision; cred. to Stealth for what I've added. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 17:23, 12/17/2016

Maybe link 'rituals' in the 2nd paragraph to Deputy ceremony.
Link 'one kit in particular' to Bramblestar? If not, link it later in the 4th paragraph when it says "Goldenflower's son"?
"The ThunderClan deputy calls Sandstorm and Brackenfur over to him, and they bound over." 'over' sounds a bit redundant
"The deputy shudders and hurries to the medicine den, nearly crashing into the gray she-cat as she limps from the den." 'den' is a bit redundant. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 16:37 Sun Dec 18

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:02, 12/18/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 23:13, December 19, 2016 (UTC)

Mapleshade's Vengeance/Chapter 4 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:32, 12/19/2016

In the second paragraph, this sentence need an extra word, I think. He meows to tell the truth, but before Mapleshade can say anything, Frecklewish comes to the queen's defense.

In the final paragraph, I would suggest this sentence have an extra word: The former ThunderClan cat begs Appledusk to help her, but the tom presses closer to Reedshine and growls (either at or for) the she-cat to leave. Songheart 23:15, December 19, 2016 (UTC)

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:49, 12/20/2016

"She promises they will be alright, and the three kits then try to cross the river. However, the flood sweeps the littermates away, and Appledusk just barely manages to save Mapleshade. The queen lets out a shriek when Eeltail tells her that the kits are dead. " It's kind of sudden how she promises to her kits that they will be alright, then they drown. Could you maybe explain more about them crossing the river? Also, maybe link "their territory" in the last paragraph to The Forest territories or the forest territory section for RiverClan. Also, Seedpelt should be listed as a minor character. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:24 Wed Dec 21

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:54, 12/22/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:54, 12/23/2016

The Darkest Hour/Chapter 8 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Cred to people who put the base down; I just expanded it a fair bit. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:49, 12/20/2016

In the fourth sentence in the third paragraph, put an apostrophe after Sorrelkit.

Also in the last paragraph, I would suggest adding either of the italicized words, Firestar asks Darkstripe for his side of the story, and the dark warrior says he was returning to camp, and tried to stop/stopping/preventing Sorrelkit from eating the berries. Songheart 21:31, December 20, 2016 (UTC)

Updated —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:37, 12/20/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 03:06, 12/23/2016

Ravenpaw's Farewell ~ Silver Nomination[]

Includes allegiances and gallery. Took bits from a PW article I wrote, because as was said in discussion, it'd be pointless to re-write the same stuff twice. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:49, 12/20/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 03:06, 12/23/2016

Hawkwing's Journey/Prologue ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:32, 12/19/2016

In the first paragraph, there is a period mistakenly placed.

For a sentence in the second to last paragraph, I would suggest removing the italicized word: He comments only way they can solve their problems is by joining with the other Clans. Songheart 23:20, December 19, 2016 (UTC)

Updated Didn't remove the second one, but I tweaked the sentence structure of it instead. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:49, 12/20/2016

"The pale gray cat states that Firestar restored the Clan, Brackenheart sadly remarks that the ThunderClan leader is dead, and cannot help them from a far away StarClan." I think there should be either a 'and' or a 'but' between 'Clan' and 'Brackenheart'.
" Brackenheart seconds the pale gray tom, protesting that he was the last medicine cat before rats drove them out. The medicine cat meows that after all SkyClan has faced" 'medicine cat' is redundant
Maybe link 'Firestar's kin' to Firestar's family tree? Idk only if you want to. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:42 Wed Dec 21

Updated didn't opt to link to Firestar's family tree... Dunno, just didn't seem to fit with the context imo —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:54, 12/22/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:54, 12/23/2016

TheUsual ~ Join Request[]

May i join the project? Cursed for life 15:39, December 25, 2016 (UTC)

Added. Please make sure to go over our guidelines, and welcome to the project! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:05, 12/25/2016

Long Shadows/Chapter 20 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 07:49, 12/21/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:13, 12/24/2016

Hollyleaf's Story/Chapter 5 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? Songheart 23:02, December 19, 2016 (UTC)

She wonders why the cub hadn't left and wonders if the dog was still waiting for it. 'wonders' is a bit redundant
She also knows what it was like to be lost and frightened in the darkness. She thinks she should go find it, but her companion is surprised, as it was a fox. She counters him by saying it was a baby and asks if he would leave a kit here. She is redundant
- She is also redundant through the second paragraph, too.
Could you go through and get rid of some past-tense things? I think they're in most parts of the summary, or from what I can see. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:54, 12/20/2016

Updated Songheart 21:17, December 20, 2016 (UTC)

I think for the quote, the 'she' isn't necessary, only the '[Hollyleaf]' (in brackets of course) I might be wrong though so you might not want to take my word for it.
In the 1st paragraph, "The tom replies somberly he would." I think it would sound better if you had the word 'somberly' between 'tom' and 'replies'. (so, "The tom somberly replies he would.")
"After leaving the river-cave, Hollyleaf becomes disoriented after the fox cub's cries echo around her." (2nd paragraph) 'after' is redundant.
She licks the fox's ear and is reminded of Squirrelflight doing the same for her. The she-cat misses her mother with a physical pain. " Did it say 'her mother' in the book? If it didn't, I think it would be better to say 'her foster mother' because Squirrelflight wasn't her actual mother.
'she' is redundant in the 2nd-to-last paragraph.
I'm not sure if I would call Fallen Leaves a major character, I think he was pretty minor in this chapter. Your call though. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 22:52 Wed Dec 21

Fixed Starlingspots 14:20, December 24, 2016 (UTC)

For the quote, I might agree with what Maple put previously, as I think only [Hollyleaf] in brackets should be there, since it looks kinda odd with 'She [Hollyleaf]' . Could you tweak that? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 14:43, 12/24/2016

Tweaked Starlingspots 15:54, December 24, 2016 (UTC)

Could you go through one more time for past tense/redundancy? Here's some I saw at first look:
- She complains the crying is keeping her awake and asks herself if Fallen Leaves needed to sleep too. - needed is in past-tense
- She asks herself why the cub hadn't left and wonders if the dog is still waiting for it. I - hadn't is in past tense
- The ginger-and-white tom points out that a kit wouldn't try to eat him. Hollyleaf assures him she would be too much of a mouthful for it, secretly hoping it was true. - was in past tense; also, him is redundant
- She listens for the cub, and could hear soft pads shuffling against stone coming from a tunnel with a dead end. She steps into the tunnel and the cub lets out a shriek. Hollyleaf calls down the tunnel saying she won't hurt the cub. She could hear scrabbling and smell fox-scented fear. The cat reminds herself this was just a lost and frightened cub. She murmurs to the young animal to not be frightened. The cub stops moving and the black cat guesses it had itself pressing up against the pile of rocks. - she, tunnel, and cub are redundant; could is in past tense twice
- She gives it' a comforting lick and the fox freezes up. It begins to relax when she continues licking its pelt. Hollyleaf moves closer and touches her nose to the tip of its ear, whispering to it that it is safe. The fox lowers its head onto her and she feels its whiskers faintly tickling her. The loner moves closer and wraps her body around the cub. She could feel its breath becoming slower and steadier. Hollyleaf rests her head on the cub's neck and tells it to sleep well. The cat presses closer to it in hopes of the warmth of her fur seeps into it. - it is redundant; 'could' should be moved from past tense
- She reminds herself she wasn't part of ThunderClan anymore and the fox cub needs her now. She closes her eyes to fall asleep. - she is redundant; wasn't is in past-tense
- The cub turns around and lets out a questioning bark, as if it wanted her to follow it out. The loner shakes her head and meows she couldn't come with it as this is her home. The cub.. - the cub and it are redundant
- Hollyleaf licks the fox's ear and is reminded of Squirrelflight doing the same for her and misses her with a physical pain. - her is redundant'
- She shakes her fur out and heads for the woods-tunnel. Fallen Leaves is astonished and asks if she is going to look for it. Hollyleaf replies she is, if it means she could get some sleep. She then asks him to fetch her, if she's not back by dawn. - she is redundant
- Sorry for long list; a lot of the 'she' ones I'd already said in my last comment, but this is to clarify for some of the ones left behind. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:23, 12/24/2016

Fixed Thanks Spooky. I'm going to try to learn to write in present tense and check for redundancy. Starlingspots 22:45, December 24, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:31, 12/26/2016

Hawkwing's Journey/Chapter 2 ~ Silver Nomination[]

is it bad that i write chapters i liked reading... :3 —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 05:22, 12/23/2016

In the second paragraph, it would be better to replace "The" with "His" for this sentence: The mentor says Echosong is trying to restart his heart and breathing.

For the last sentence, Cherrytail pads over to him, saying that she knows what happened, and is proud of him for saving Pebblepaw.

Add more details and names of the herbs that the medicine cats used for their patients? Just to give the reader more insight on what the medicine cats were doing. Starlingspots 14:31, December 24, 2016 (UTC)

Updated added the names of the herbs, but that's all the detail the book itself had, so there isn't anything to add there. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:56, 12/24/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 20:43, December 26, 2016 (UTC)

Bluestar's Prophecy/Chapter 7 - Silver Nomination[]

—Ivy ☆ 15:13, December 24, 2016 (UTC)

"Patchpaw, who is to be guarding the camp, comments that he's been practicing his moves all day, to which Leopardpaw says that the patrol won't let WindClan reach the camp, so he shouldn't worry about having to fight." A bit of a run-on, could you split it?
"Goosefeather continues to interpret the omen, stating that StarClan was sending them a sign to show that WindClan's prey stealing is just the beginning." a bit of past-tense is used for "was", I think? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:49, 12/24/2016

Updated. —Ivy ☆ 20:59, December 24, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:31, 12/26/2016

Dovewing's Silence/Chapter 3 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 02:46, 12/25/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:07, 12/27/2016

Bluestar's Prophecy/Chapter 8 - Silver Nomination[]

—Ivy ☆ 15:23, December 25, 2016 (UTC)

Bluepaw, straightening her back and lifting her chin, tries to look more confident like her mother. - her is slightly redundant
Moonflower, joining them, says firmly they won't need any, because they won't be fighting at all. - up to you, but I think 'joins' and then 'saying' would work better in the sentence, and the comma could be taken out after Moonflower to make it flow more smoothly; "they won't" is also a tad redundant —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 18:24, 12/25/2016

Updated. —Ivy ☆ 22:25, December 25, 2016 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:01, 12/28/2016

Bluestar's Prophecy/Chapter 9 - Silver Nomination[]

—Ivy ☆ 17:08, December 26, 2016 (UTC)

The WindClan medicine cat, eyes gleaming, asks her to show him her battle moves if she is not a kit, and moves closer to her with the appearance that he is about to attack the young she-cat. - her is slightly redundant
Bluepaw wails that this cannot be true, because they were fighting warriors, not loners or rogues, and that Clan cats do not kill without reason. - pretty sure 'were' is in past tense —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:19, 12/26/2016

Updated. Reworded the first sentence (it sounded weird anyway) but on the second bullet point, it's supposed to be past tense. They were already done fighting WindClan at this point. —Ivy ☆ 21:28, December 26, 2016 (UTC)

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 02:40, December 29, 2016 (UTC)

Leafpool's Wish/Chapter 8 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Honestly no good quotes in the chapter... —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:20, 12/26/2016

Comments before vote? Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 02:40, December 29, 2016 (UTC)

Bramblestar's Storm/Chapter 3 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Looks like it has already been archived, but Minnow asked me to take over on this. Credits to her and all the people who worked on it before. 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 16:23 Sun Dec 18

Could you cut down on the redundancy of 'to' throughout the summary? Namely in the first and third paragraphs, though, there's a few spots in the second paragraph too. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:07, 12/18/2016
"While going to confront Blackstar about the trespassing, they pass through the ThunderClan land that had been gained in the battle where Russetfur died. The patrol then crosses the border and goes into ShadowClan territory, where there is evident damage from fighting. Cinderheart wonders if the forest will ever recover from the Great Battle." Could you clarify that Cinderheart is thinking about the damage from the Great Battle? When I read through, it seemed like she was thinking about damage from the Russetfur battle, not the DF one. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:07, 12/18/2016

Still working? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:46, 12/25/2016

Declined due to lack of work. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:28, 1/02/2017

Mistystar's Omen/Chapter 10 ~ Silver Nomination[]

—spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 23:24, 12/27/2016

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:22, 12/30/2016

Bluestar's Prophecy/Chapter 10 - Silver Nomination[]

—Ivy ☆ 14:57, January 3, 2017 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:04, 1/06/2017

Hollyleaf's Story/Chapter 6 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Comments? Starlingspots 22:43, January 8, 2017 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:04, 1/11/2017

January FA[]

Yay 2017 is finally here! How about Saving the Kits? Since we haven't done a adventure game thing since... 2014 I think. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:38, 1/01/2017

Works for me unless anyone can find a non featured book. I think we've featured like 95% of them ... idk. Apple dash ^the ^light ^of ^honor 12:59, January 4, 2017 (UTC)

CBV? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 21:07, 1/10/2017

Vote's up! Also, shouldn't this be the February FA? 🏵️ Maple 🏵️ 04:12 Sun Jan 15

Tallstar's Revenge/Chapter 1 ~ Silver Nomination[]

Credit to all that helped on this chapter.Cursed for life 16:29, December 28, 2016 (UTC)

I would highly suggest crediting who wrote this, because I can see by the history that it was not you. —Jayce(16:54, 12/28/2016)

On the very first sentence of the summary, could perhaps take out a comma somewhere? It's really broken up for such a short sentence.
He assures his mother that he will be okay, but glances back at the nursery, where Brackenwing soothes Palebird, reminding her that Barkkit and Shrewkit will keep an eye on him. - he is redundant, this is also a run-on
Barkkit paws at Tallkit's tail, but Tallkit flicks it away after his friend comments that he looks like he is turning to ice - Tallkit is redundant
Purring with amusement, Tallkit thinks about that his white markings would make it easier for him to hide in the snow. - I think there's extra words in this sentence. It'd flow much better if 'about' and 'would' are removed.
Blinking up at the high slab of granite, having been told by Barkkit that Heatherstar stood on it to address the Clan, Tallkit identifies the stone and crater just below as the Meeting Hollow. - is a bit of a run-on, with the way it's worded
The majority of the third paragraph is written in past-tense, and summaries have to be in present-tense.
As he looks out across the camp at the heather coated in frost, Tallkit wonders what the moor looked like in deep snow. - 'looked' is in past-tense
Could you expand the 7th paragraph a tad, just to show a but more insight on what's happening? It seems very brief.
Maybe go through the rest of the summary to check for redundancy, missing links, past-tense, and odd wording, as the summary kinda doesn't make sense in some spots. :) —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 22:06, 12/29/2016

Updated. Cursed for life 03:38, December 30, 2016 (UTC)

'Mother' is redundant in the first paragraph
Tallkit is pretty redundant through most of the summary —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 19:10, 1/01/2017

Still working? —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:11, 1/09/2017

Declined due to lack of work. —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 20:12, 1/18/2017

Whitenose - Join Request[]

Thunder, The king of all. 00:15, January 17, 2017 (UTC)

Added. Make sure to read the guidelines, and welcome to the project! —spooky ^{is that...}^{a furry cat?!?} 00:19, 1/17/2017